Ask Lemmy
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This has come up on Mastodon as well. Mastodon has a default server, which is mastodon.social. It's somewhat controversial. I think it's helped adoption but it's also putting the ecosystem more under Mastodon gGmbH's thumb...which is not great. I myself am on mastodon.social because it seemed like a sane default. I'd have chosen differently if I knew what I know now.
I'm not as plugged into what the defaults are for Lemmy or if there even are any. I'm sure there is room for improvement, but it is fair to say there are a lot of people who willfully refuse to understand how federated software works and act like it's so complicated that no mortal can possibly understand it.
Can we do a lot more to help people who wish to join decentralized social media? Yes, absolutely. Should we give people shit for acting like choosing a server is so hard and confusing that they'd rather be on fascist-aligned platforms? Also yes.
I literally picked my mastodon instance because it had a really high character limit. There was basically nothing differentiating Lemmy instances besides vague things like values or who they were defederated with.
Tbf, those two ate pretty big differences
I agree however when you are joining they aren't exactly super informitive. Didn't even learn you could find put that information until a week after I joined.