this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Me personally? I've become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women's expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I've matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I've come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of 'humor' really is, and I regret it deeply.

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[โ€“] sheilzy 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I did a Google search on the Ristick family and saw a comment you made on Ars Technica Forums, back when you were Punk Walrus and your wife was alive. (At least given the similarity to username and background, I think it's you.) My condolences on your wife. Did her death bring her father's side of the family back into the picture at all? And did she end up writing the book everyone wants to read about the situation? They sound like a fascinating, but exhausting family. I'd think you'd need a robust journalism team to conduct all those interviews.

[โ€“] punkwalrus 6 points 1 year ago

It is me.

Nope. Her death brought a LOT of people to the funeral, but mostly people she influenced through the anime and science fiction conventions she helped run. I won't rule out her family showing up, but there were 250-300 people in attendance, and obviously I was distracted. She never wrote a book, but she did leave a some... let's say artefacts... of her family. A tarot deck, a book about family life in the early 1900s, and stuff like that. I don't know what to do with them, because I know some of them were stolen, and someone "outside the family" are not supposed to have them. She was never accepted as a "half breed," and part of why her mother left was because of the abuse. I remember hearing about when someone in the family dies, people just "show up" without being notified. It may be apocryphal, legendary without much fact, I dunno. But it was one of those "psychic things" that her family supposedly possessed.

I do know that she found out that her father died (really died this time, not faked his death) around 2002-2003. She knew that her family wouldn't want to speak to her, and if they did, they would probably do so for criminal intent. I remember that she encountered some of her extended family in public (one of the scams was an elderly woman with a small toddler, and an index card with "I am poor, and have no money to my grandchild") and she would say "don't interact with her. Look over there, there, and in that car: that's family keeping an eye on her, and to warn her if things start to go down. Even if you say you know she's a gypsy, yeah, don't do that. They will find you, and hurt you." Some of the men would see a dent in your car and say they could repair it for $200 or something. Hot women would approach you and stroke your hand while they had "visions." She knew all the tricks. She was great at carnivals, too, like how things were rigged.