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A Social Etiquette Question (self.asklemmy)

submitted 3 weeks ago by dohpaz42 to c/asklemmy

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Alright, so my son is friends with a kid at his school, and through this I met his mother. She is a nice woman, who is attractive and friendly. What I do know about her is that she and her husband are separated and/or divorced. I do not know if she is seeing anybody.

I have an unsuccessful history of assuming things with women who are nice to me; i.e., I often confuse being nice with them showing a romantic interest, and that not being the case. Given that my son and her son are best friends, I do not want to make this mistake and make things awkward for anybody. Given my unsuccessful history of reading social cues, I want to be careful in how I interact with her.

I feel like I have three choices right now: I could continue my current course of action, and interact with her when my son and her son get together; I could text her and try to strike up a conversation out of the blue; or I could add her as a Facebook friend and from that angle try to strike up conversation.

I don’t necessarily want to go the “do nothing and hope it works out” approach, but I am not sure if I would make her uncomfortable by being too direct. I’m kind of leaning toward the Facebook option, but I am curious if I should ask her if she’s ok with me requesting to be her friend (and possibly sparking a conversation that way, but letting her know it’s okay to say no if she’s not comfortable with it).

And before anybody says it, yes I’m aware I’m probably overthinking it. 😊

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[–] UmeU 22 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Do nothing / don’t show any romantic interest.

Get to know her better as a friend. If she becomes interested or is interested in anything more, believe me you will know.

Seriously, just forget about any romantic possibility. If she is interested then she will make it happen… otherwise you will just ruin your son’s friendship for no reason.

[–] dohpaz42 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You and others are right. I shouldn’t be considering my desires above my son’s needs. That’s really all that matters.

[–] UmeU 4 points 3 weeks ago

Glad you are on the right page. Rest assured that if the right woman is to come along, 99.9% chance is that it will come about naturally. You won’t need to think about it and you won’t need to pursue it.