this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
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Mine was the day I got my first apartment. I was really just beginning in life and felt like I never really truly knew freedom and safety like having my own soverign space that nobody could revoke or meddle with

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I recommend mindfulness training if you can. There's a big difference between:

  • "I'm a fuckup"
  • "I feel like a fuckup"
  • "I notice I feel like a fuckup"
  • "I see that I wanted to label myself as a fuckup"

Brains and bodies will automatically attract to higher levels of comfort or peace, so you can start to see the trends in your mental health, it will literally pull you toward fixing it. It may not be a complete fix by itself, but you'll be surprised how much it will do for you.

You are not your illness. Would you feel empathy for a friend with anxiety? Likely yes. If you give them that grace, why not yourself too?

I hope/am glad if this stuff helps.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It does help. I'm totally overthinking every little thing involving a couple of my friends.

I really need to get out and try to meet some new folks. I know I can do it. I just need to convince myself that I'm worth the effort.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It's a funny thing, once the whole "boundaries" thing starts to click it sort of becomes addicting as you slowly realize "oh, I can say no to things I don't like" or "I can ask for the things I wish I had".

Eventually that leads to the secure attachment style (still working on this one myself). But since this began to "click" I have made 3 excellent friends that I don't feel like I need to perform around and it's wild to me.

Are you autistic/neurodivergent by chance? I am, and I read a book called "Unmasking Autism" by Devon Price, PhD and it helped a lot with this for me. Not sure if it would mean anything to people who aren't though.