I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?

When in Rome do as the Romans do, and I do particularly love making hilariously taboo statements that mirror more conventionally acceptable fallacies. In early college I wrote an abortion focused "Modest Proposal" suggesting that men be forced to donate anatomical gifts (blood, skin, organs, etc) to their progeny to equalize the physical labor of men and women in procreation. The increased gravity of such a gift is balanced by the lower liklihood of its necessity (it might in many cases be harder on the body, but the odds a child will need it are much lower). I came at it from every angle and took each part of the argument to its most exaggeratedly ridiculous extent; Swift would've been proud. I've since lost the text, however.

I'm hard, argue with me

What god may call a bug, we call a feature.