this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2024
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Is it simply: involuntarily celibate, or does it come with a package?

To me, "incel" has always meant someone who’s simply just celibate against their will, but it feels like the term now also implies a specific worldview or even a subculture. Does identifying as an incel automatically come with those negative beliefs around gender and society, or should those two have separate terms? Has the definition changed?"

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It started off as people who are involuntarily celibate due to unfortunate circumstances. It ended up being co-opted by individuals incapable of self-reflection and self-improvement to understand that their celibacy is entirely based on their lack of hygiene and attitude towards women. They would rather blame the world for their problems instead of owning up to them and making positive changes in their lives.

Does identifying as an incel automatically come with those negative beliefs around gender and society, or should those two have separate terms?

Absolutely, yes. Incel culture is one of misogyny and sexism. People identifying as incels are typically the ones who blame women for not wanting to have sex with them while doing nothing to make women actually want to have sex with them.

My advice to you OP is stay far away from individuals and communities identifying as incel or pro-incel.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

People believed they are owed sex rather than it being a mutual thing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That makes sense. In my mind the definition never really evolved as I tend to take words literally and think of it more as a category, like "red heads" rather than as an ideological group. I guess that would technically make them a subgroup of incels.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I see where you're coming from. Just keep in mind that the original intent of the group has been stolen a long time ago, something like 10 years ago at this point. At this point these people aren't a sub-group of incels. They've completely co-opted the term and rebranded the incel term. Anyone who was originally incel for the right reasons has run off so far away from this term they might as well be in another planet. And I don't blame them, who wants to be lumped into misogynistic assholes who fantasize about killing and raping women as well as underage girls simply because they think they're entitled to sex?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My motivation here is only to probe on what other people really think of when using that word, so that I know what they really mean by it

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

There's no problem with that. It's clear based on your responses that you're just trying to understand it and wrap your mind around it. Just thought to give you a heads up about the term in case you start using it or something.