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It's actually normal for a married man to lose his "separate" friends and end up becoming more family-oriented and friends with his wife's friends. Or, if he doesn't end up being in that group, he may end up turning towards work for some of that same camaraderie.
Your situation sucks. It's not uncommon though. I hope that takes the pressure off of you.
30 is a bit of an arbitrary number. Maybe you could make 31 or 32 the big year, and focus on trying to find new friends (or rekindle old friendships) until then. It's harder than it was when you were younger. But if you had friends before, you can probably do it again!
Don't feel embarrassed about your situation. Don't feel embarrassed about inviting your wife's friends (as long as you actually like them, of course).
Your birthday is ultimately about you. Not putting on a show or proving anything to anyone else.
Happy birthday, and wishing you many more ahead with many loved ones. Family and friends.