What makes it so hard for a lot of men is, that it’s a willful surrender of privileges. Men lost a ton of privileges over the last decades and it takes a bit of reflection to understand that these privileges were never legitimate in the first place. Instead, they frame women’s rights as weakness, because it directly contradicts their narrative of a strong man.

the important distinction here is that these privileges were the reason that men did what they did. Without them now men don't really have an overall driving force through life. Without the expectation of "being a strong man" they literally have nothing to live for in society.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's what the post above mine meant by there not being a positive manliness.

Progressive manliness is described as a substraction from the old ideal. We simply have not yet formed a positive, progressive male identity.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

yeah, we need to work towards building something that solves this problem sooner rather than later, if you're a parent now, you should be figuring this out now, and if you want to be a parent, figure it out before you have children.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Being a good human being is an option for everyone.
And I know this is from a kids cartoon, but Uncle Iroh from Airbender embodies benevolent masculinity pretty well. If we want children and young men to be socialized better, a good place to start is with our media depicting more characters like that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What?? So when you were a kid ,you just wanted to be a "strong man" when you grew up??

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

there was nothing i wanted to be when i was growing up. I got the question of "what do you want to do" but there isn't exactly a good answer to that question and nobody seemed to ever really care either. Things are more focused on education and not being an asshole individually, as opposed to be a socially good person who respects other people.

It should be no wonder that people raised like this turn to figures like andrew tate looking for some semblance of something to focus on.

the reason why strong man is quoted is because if you don't grow up to be a strong person, as a man or a woman, or whatever in between, you fucking die.