this post was submitted on 30 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago

Look man, that's a damn rough shake, but one thing worth considering is that people aren't really done "growing up" until their mid 20s at best. It was probably a lot less that you weren't the catch you thought you were and probably a lot more that you just got unlucky drew a lot of people who weren't as ready for a relationship as you were.

Take it from me, job hunting was miserable for me, but it taught me an incredibly valuable lesson for myself. My worthiness has nothing to do with if people are rewarding me for the effort to be a worthy person. I had a perfect résumé, and gave a perfect interview, but I never got hired until I stopped barking up the tree I thought I was gonna spend my life climbing, because all the qualification in the world just isn't gonna mean shit against pure bad luck, and it sounds like you sir had a whale's load of bad luck.

If it's been 10+ years since giving up, it might be time to start looking again. Stay the ever loving fuck away from online dating though, shit will retraumatize you in minutes, look for social events in your area that suit your personal hobbies and interests, but also, go looking for friends and not necessarily lovers, depending on your interests folks you find attractive might feel put upon if someone's getting the moves on immediately after meeting them at a fun hobby thing.

Fun thing about friends to lovers is that if you realize it wouldn't work romantically, you still got this cool friend person to do fun shit with!