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That's pretty much what we do (including retrofitting 200+ year old farm houses). Just replace your home server with a Crestron box. For people who want to tinker on a regular basis, we could (I have) easily build them a custom interface but you certainly fit the bill of someone who should do it themselves. You've chosen this as a hobby and a life long commitment.
You know what they say about plumbers... always a leaky pipe in their house. Having been in the industry for decades, the last thing I want to do when I get home from work is futz around with networking and programming. I have wireless Ikea lighting. The battery has been dead on one of my smart buttons for a month and I'm too lazy to take two minutes to swap it.
I tinker mostly during the holidays. Show control is kind of a hobby. As are haunted houses.
Otherwise, everything just works at this point. I just have a few useful automation like turning all lights off with a button press, some lights that turn on at sunset and off at sunrise, and back door lights that turn on when the garage opens and it's after sunset.
Otherwise everything still works as a switch, well button now, without Internet or my hub. I never need to explain to someone that comes in how to use anything.
I have some shit broken, like my automation that sent one of the robot vacuums out when I leave the house doesn't work now that I've tried making sure it doesn't go if my girlfriend is still home. But low priority. The shit I care about just works. The rest is when I get to it, eventually.