this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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politics

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Donald J. Trump plans to hold a “general news conference” on Thursday afternoon at his private club and home, Mar-a-Lago, the first such event he has held in months.

Mr. Trump announced the event on his website, Truth Social, on Thursday morning.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Prediction: he's going to announce he's selling golden Trump brand dildos so everyone can go fuck themselves.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

"golden" dildos, at $1000. But if you opt for the "I've always supported you, and believe all your lies" version for $100,000 you can get the ultra special trump bucks dildo, modeled off your savior trump's dick itself*. (*Note: all special versions are the same as the regular, any and all payments are recurring subscriptions and cannot be cancelled except in person)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Why is mine tarnishing? Is this even real gold?

[–] Zombiepirate 2 points 4 months ago

It's crusted with diamond dust!

[–] FuglyDuck 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

With a special pocket for glove and lube storage.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Not too many comments actually make me laugh out loud, thanks for the laugh!

[–] comador 2 points 4 months ago

Nah, with J.ust D.umb Vance now on board, it'll probably be a new "Freedom Couch" sold exclusively at Bob's Discount Furniture.