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Lemmy, how do you deal with heartbreak? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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Finally found the man I thought I would marry, but the breakup came out of nowhere and I'm struggling to cope. What are the ways you've dealt with heartbreak in the past?

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[–] theredknight 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There's a set of questions an author named Byron Katie wrote about for managing limiting beliefs. First you have to isolate the belief that's causing you pain. Then you ask the following:

1 - Is this belief true?

2 - Can I absolutely know this belief is true?

If you are still saying yes to these you're not ready for 3 and 4.

3 - How do you feel when you believe this? Be sure to go into this really well. I find the more you put into this step the better the results at the last question. So where in your body does the feeling live? What temperature is it? How intense is it out of 10? Is it sharp or dull? Is it dry or wet? Does it change is it constant? Maybe even what color is it? You want to really witness and give credence to this feeling here.

And finally

4 - Who would you be or what would you be doing if you didn't have this belief?

I can guess what answers you'd give here but you know so I don't want to muddy that for you.

Edit: formatting