Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try [email protected]
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
Ugh, heartache is literally painful. I'm sorry you are going through that.
For me, getting iver someone has been a multi-pronged approach.
Accept that I'm going to feel grief for a while...at least a few months. That's okay and normal. Don't fight it, don't get mad at it. Just notice it and ride it out. Your brain has to severe the neural networks that were dedicated to him, while rebuilding new ones. This is a process that takes a while.
Start connecting with friends that are healthy. They can be a nice source of validation, connection, and support.
Work on a new project to have a focus. This can help in those moments where I'm sitting around ruminating with nothing to do or no desire to do anything. Even if I'm ruminating while doing the project, at least I'll something to show for it when it's over.
Start a new hobby to define myself apart from the relationship. I'm going to be a new person.
When ready, start throwing out all of their stuff. I even get rid of gifts. If it reminds me of then when I look at it, it's gone.
Things will get easier as you stop thinking about them slowly over the next dew weeks to months. Eventually, they become someone that you used to know with no real meaning other than the lessons you learned from that experience.