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Daughters and Fathers (lemm.ee)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

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This is a serious question, mostly addressed to the adult women among us but also to anyone else who has a stake in the matter.

What did your father do for you/not do for you, that you needed?

Context: I have recently become a father to a daughter, with a mother whose father was not around when she was growing up. I won't bore you all with the details but our daughter is here now and I am realising that I'm the only one in our little family who has really had a father before. But I have never been a girl. And I know that as a boy, my relationships with my mother and father were massively influential and powerful but at the same time radically different to each other. People say that daughters and fathers have a unique relationship too.

Question: What was your father to you? What matters the most when it comes to a father making his daughter loved, safe, confident and free? To live a good life as an adult?

I'd like this to be a mature, personal and real discussion about daughters and fathers, rather than a political thing, so I humbly ask to please speak from the heart and not the head on this one :)

Thank you

P.S Apologies if this question is badly written or conceived; I haven't been getting enough sleep! It is what it is!

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[–] FollyDolly 25 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Don't be afriad to involve her in your stuff, even if it's boy stuff. My dad taught me how to fix cars, wilderness survival, how to shoot guns, how to fix stuff, it didn't matter that I was a girl, if I was interested he'd show me. I didn't care that this was boy stuff, I just liked that I was helping dad.

With the bonus payoff of me being a rather handy cabable adult too! Although he did his fair share of playing Barbie and tea party as well.

She might not like all of your hobbies (I never liked fishing) but give it a shot! Don't be afraid just bc some stuck up parents would be agast she's learning to change the oil in the car.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago

With the bonus payoff of me being a rather handy cabable adult too!

Please extend your Dad my best wishes. I nearly lost my faith in humanity when my two female roommates called me over to change a lightbulb because "electricity is scarry".