Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ProfessionalAny2259 on 2023-06-25 07:27:29+00:00.

I’m f14, this other girl is f15, I’ll call her Jane for ease. Jane unfortunately had a really bad accident sometime before I met her, which left her face with a lot of scarring. I don’t want to be mean when I say this but when I first saw her when I was 11 I thought I was daydreaming a monster.

I know it’s a horrible thing to think, which is why I have never said anything about it. I don’t really have much interaction with Jane, because until now we’ve never been in the same class. However we’re now in the same class and sit close to each other. Jane is a pretty quiet girl, and I do my best to treat her like anyone else.

However, a few weeks ago I began having nightmares about her face. It’s always a bit different but the general gist is that she is chasing me, growling and hissing. I understand it’s not her fault, and that it’s my problem, but I also began having anxiety while in class too, as she sits directly behind me.

It’s affecting my academic performance, as I cannot focus in class and I’m waking up from my sleep 2-3 times a night. I’ve been keeping this all to myself, but my grades have begun to slip, which led me to go to my school counsellor.

I asked her to swap classes with another teacher. However the counsellor told me she needed a reason, to measure teacher performance or if a student is bullying me. I told her I just wanted to swap classes, as I didn’t wanna lie and get someone else in trouble. She refused to swap me until I told her the reason.

I eventually caved and told her I couldn’t be in the same class as Jane and she looked like she wanted to expel me from life. She called me a horrible person and yelled at me a lot before saying she’ll swap me.

She did and now all the teachers are going after me. They’ll badger me for question answers and when I get one wrong they’ll insult me.

I know I’m a bad person, but what else could I have done?

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Free-Scallion-2274 on 2023-06-25 11:16:34+00:00.

My wife and I welcomed our son into the world early this month. Prior to his birth we had been given a lot of very nice clothes and toys by my parents for him. My MIL also made some pretty incredible clothes and blankets.

My wife, her siblings and their mom lived in poverty for a large part of her life. Their dad abandoned the family and left my wife's mom with a large pile of debt that weighed on them. So their life wasn't easy. My MIL often made her kids clothes vs buying them because it was cheaper for her to do (she worked in a store that had a lot of fabrics that they were allowed to take the excess of). She's talented and always put an effort into making sure the clothes looked good enough so the kids wouldn't be bullied. Those clothes are something my wife treasures. She remembers how much love and effort went into them. She also appreciates that her mom tried to make them work enough to blend in at school. That it saved them years of potential bullying.

All these years later and MIL is still dealing with the debt. She does not have a lot. So she made some amazing clothes and blankets for our son. One of the outfits was even his take home outfit. But then a couple of days after our son was born she comes over with a bag of clothes she bought saying she wanted him to have more. My wife and I were shocked. I could see she was upset and looked almost guilty so when my wife went to nap I asked her what was going on. At first she said nothing and she just wanted her grandson to have more. But then she apologized for embarrassing us. I asked her what she meant.

She told me my parents had talked to her after the baby shower and told her she had left all the grandparent spoiling to them, that she should understand if we never put our son in any of the clothes because really, they look like the kind of home made clothes from 70+ years ago when people were left with no choice. They accused her of not caring enough. I told her I was so sorry they had said that. I assured her I had never said anything like that to them. That my parents had no idea what it was like to have nothing and were being judgmental assholes. I even convinced her to take back the clothes she bought and return them to the store.

I then gathered up everything my parents gave us and went to their house. My parents didn't even try to deny it when I confronted them. All they did is look down on the effort she put into them. They said we couldn't seriously be okay with those being the only gifts. I said we were and as far as I was concerned they were the only truly generous gift he got and I told them it was their gifts I was embarrassed of. I gave them the stuff and told them we were no longer accepting the gifts or them after what they did.

They are furious. Saying I reacted way too harshly and saying it's an asshole move to return gifts. I'm furious with them too.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Predi423 on 2023-06-25 06:04:57+00:00.

Last night me and my girlfriend were watching a movie, probably about 11PM. Our son was supposed to be in bed and asleep for a couple hours by now, but apparently he woke up and walked out to go use the bathroom right when a character loudly said "Fuck."

We had the volume lower than normal, but he still heard it. I tried my best to get him back to bed calmly but he kept asking what it meant. I told him it's bad word he shouldn't say and that he doesn't need to know what it means.

Apparently that only made him more curious. It's been about a day later and we've threatened and given out as many punishments as we can think of. "Sit in a corner" "We'll take your video games" "We wont let friends come over" etc. But he won't stop saying it and / or asking what it means.

Well, me and my girlfriend wanted to go out to eat. Usually, we would take our son with us, however we decided that we probably shouldn't, as he might say it in public or even to someone, or ask someone what it meant. I don't want to deal with that or have to explain it to someone. I especially don't want to be kicked out of a place because our son is constantly saying obscenities.

So for the first time since he was like, two, we got a baby sitter. Not a complete stranger, one of our friends that my son has met many times. I knew he wouldn't be happy, but he just refused to stop inquiring about the new word he just learned.

He was very upset with not getting to go to dinner. I told him that we would bring him back food and wouldn't be gone long and that our friend would watch a movie with him or play with him, whatever he wanted. He wasn't having it.

We were only gone for two hours and apparently when we were gone, all he did was sit in his room and pout. He did eventually get bored and come out to watch TV, but was still visibly upset.

Now we're home, and we've made some progress. He seems to be mostly over his fascination with the word. Regardless, he's still mad about not getting to go out. I feel like a bit of an asshole, but idk.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway957- on 2023-06-25 09:49:28+00:00.

I (25F) married my husband (27M) last year. For a couple of weeks his brother (23M) has been living with us. My husband allowed him to stay with us till he gets back on his feet, as he's currently jobless. I really wasn't too thrilled by the idea, but my husband said he'd stay a month, a month and a half tops till he's finally able to get a stable job and rent his own place, so I relented.

Ever since he moved in, my BIL has been acting really weird. At first he'd just innocently compliment me and say how lucky his brother is to have married a woman like me. But then he started with stuff like how he's always been the more attractive brother between the two of them and how he had more experience with women, which is when I started to get a bit uncomfortable around him, but my husband just shrugged it off as his bad sense of humor. Then I caught glimpses of him staring at me like when we were watching a movie or when I was in the kitchen. I even woke up to him staring at me while I was taking a nap on the couch, but he said that he just wanted to wake me up himself in order to ask me if I want coffee. At this point I getting more creeped out by him, especially cause his compliments haven't stopped and seemed to get more flirty.

But what pushed me over the line was when he literally walked over me in the bathroom while I was taking a shower. I screamed to him to get out and he excused himself and said that he was just looking out for phone, but I frankly I didn't buy his excuse. I literally locked myself in my room till my husband came home and told him that his brother needed to leave now as he was creeping me out. My husband started coming with excuses for his behavior, that he was socially awkward but didn't mean any harm. but I wasn't none of it and started packing my stuff. When my husband asked me what the hell I was doing, I said that if his brother isn't leaving then I am cause I'm not staying a second longer in the same room as him. My husband tried to stop me from leaving, but eventually I did and now I'm staying with my parents. I ignored my husband's calls and messaged him that I'm only coming back once he kicked his brother out of our house. My husband messaged that I'm being unreasonable and willing to destroy our marriage just cause BIL "accidentally" walked in on me while I was in the shower.

AITA ?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/gengiskaan on 2023-06-25 09:31:07+00:00.

Today, my MIL said she had a surprise for my toddler. She brought 5 baby chicks as a gift to my toddler. She apparently felt bad because my toddler didn't have a pet while the cousin just got a cat. This is after I specifically said I didn't want to get my toddler a pet yet. Because 1, we live in a 1 bedroom condo in the city without a balcony, 2, my toddler is 3 and cannot take care of a pet yet, 3, I work all the day long.

I told her we were going to give it away and she called me up. She said I was being dramatic and they're just baby chicks so they're going to die in 2 weeks anyways. She also said that my toddler was so happy when he saw his gift. OF COURSE HE WAS HAPPY ABOUT IT. Children always are!

By the way, she brought them to our condo in a cardboard box with holes without water and food. My toddler is broken hearted about sending them away, and now I'm the bad guy. But I feel like I have to stand my ground... so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Effective-Adagio-481 on 2023-06-25 07:34:11+00:00.

Throwaway to keep my personal account private.

This has been eating me up for hours and I need some outside perspective. I (34F) have a 14 year old daughter. She has a fairly small but incredibly close group of friends, one of which has been here since school let out for summer break (almost exactly a month ago). They spend their days sleeping and their nights swimming and watching movies and giggling like teenager girls tend to do. About a week ago, I started making the friend help my daughter with her usual chores.

And for clarity’s sake, I’ll explain exactly what I mean by “chores”. Washing her own laundry (I handle mine and my husband’s as well as all the “house laundry” - towels, blankets, bed linens), loading her dirty dishes into the dishwater (again, I handle mine and my husband’s as well as the “house dishes”), helping clean up my daughters room (usually just means putting away/cleaning up music equipment, art supplies, and about a million half-empty water bottles and snack wrappers that need to go in the bin), help clean the pool before they go swimming (by this I mean using the net to clean away leaves and bugs but I do the major cleaning - vacuuming, filter changes, pump cleaning, level checks) putting up pool floaties after swimming, and once or twice a week, helping to cook dinner (I handle all other meals/snacks and all the shopping). Considering she’s been here for weeks, I thought this was fair…but the girl’s mom does NOT think it’s fair, and here’s the part where I get called an asshole.

The girls helped me make manicotti for dinner. The food was delicious and they were both (rightly) proud of themselves for how well it turned out. The friend took a picture and shared it to Snapchat, where her mom saw it. I’m not entirely certain what was said in the conversation between the friend and her mom, but I do know they spoke just before I got an irate phone call from her mom. She said I don’t have a real job (and to be fair, I don’t have an income-earning job, I’m an unemployed SAHM by choice) and that it wasn’t her daughter’s responsibility to feed me and keep my house in order. At first, I had assumed maybe the friend told her mom I was having her “do chores” but didn’t explain what the chores actually were. I thought her mom might have just jumped to conclusions and thought I’m having her kid clean my house, mow the lawn, and cook us dinner every night. But no, after explaining what exactly it is I was making her daughter do, she was still very angry. She called me a lazy AH before hanging up on me and now I’m wondering if she’s right. Her daughter is a guest in our home, even if it’s a bit of an extended stay instead of her usual 3-4 days before going back home. Should I just leave it at her picking up her dishes/trash and do the rest myself? Is the laundry, pool, and dinner going too far? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RainStormDMD on 2023-06-25 02:29:54+00:00.

I (28F) have been married to my husband (30M) for two years, and we've been together for five. We are a happy couple, but my husband is quite introverted and doesn't like confrontation. He avoids it whenever possible, which is something I love about him, but it also means that I often have to be the one to stick up for us when people say things that are hurtful or disrespectful.

This happened last weekend when my brothers (32M and 25M) came over for a family dinner. My older brother has always been a bit of a joker, but lately, he's been making more and more comments about how my husband is "too quiet" and "doesn't talk enough" when we're all together. My younger brother has been joining in, and they've started making fun of my husband behind his back, calling him things like "the mute" and "the ghost."

I tried to ignore it at first, but it was really bothering me, so I finally spoke up and told them that their comments were hurtful and disrespectful. My older brother laughed it off and said he was just joking, but I could tell that my younger brother was upset that I had called them out. He started getting defensive and accusing me of being too sensitive.

Things escalated from there, and we ended up getting into a big fight. My brothers accused me of being overprotective of my husband and not being able to take a joke. I told them that they were being rude and that I didn't appreciate them insulting my husband behind his back. My older brother eventually apologized, but my younger brother stormed out of the house and hasn't spoken to me since.

Now I'm left wondering if I overreacted. Maybe I should have just let it go and not confronted them. But at the same time, I feel like I had to stick up for my husband and our marriage. He's a wonderful person, and he doesn't deserve to be treated that way.

So, Reddit, Am I the Asshole for getting into a fight with my brothers over their rude comments about my introverted husband?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Outside-Bath9511 on 2023-06-25 08:50:03+00:00.

AITA for asking the bride of the wedding to reimburse me for the costs I incurred while participating in her wedding festivities because I was kicked out of the wedding due to an untrue rumor? For some background me and the bride have been friends since college and have been close since. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and of course accepted because I love her and wanted to help celebrate her big day. During the months leading up to the wedding I bought several items for the wedding itself and paid for my portion of a bachelorette trip which was a joint trip with the groom and his groomsmen and a few added friends. The weekend of the trip came and we loaded up the car and set off to our destination. The whole rumor started that I attempted to sleep with one of the grooms friends on the trip, which was not true and had no logical basis. The rumor was started by another bridesmaid who was upset that me and the guy she was currently talking to used to have a relationship years ago and when he found out that I was on the trip he started asking her questions concerning me and my life at the present time. I have not spoken to this guy since we cut off contact 2 years ago. So she saw me conversing with one of the grooms friends at the bar we had gone to the first night of the trip. She took it upon herself to start saying that she saw me and this friend of the grooms who was married sneak off to the bathroom to hookup. This of course did not happen but with this girl being a friend of the brides much longer than me the bride took her side and asked me to leave the bachelorette trip the next morning, in total I was on the trip for less than 24 hours. The trip was booked for 5 days. Later after the trip about a week before the wedding I texted the bride a question about the dress and was met with a long text about how I was no longer apart of the bridal party and would not be able to attend the wedding due to the rumors. She informed me that her whole family and the grooms family was uncomfortable with my being apart of the event due to the rumor and since the friend that I allegedly slept with was a long time friend of the grooms family he would not be uninvited. So am I the asshole for asking the bride to be reimbursed for the rest of the trip I was not allowed to stay for and the other charges I incurred for the sole purpose of being in her wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Terrible_Pie_2403 on 2023-06-25 01:46:46+00:00.

I (30F) have 3 younger sisters, “Marissa” (19) along with twins, “Avery” and “Paige” (18). When she was 16, Marissa had her first child. While this did make her grow up a little bit, I honestly wouldn’t say she’s any more mature than Avery and Paige. It wouldn’t be a problem, except Marissa loves to pretend she’s miles above Avery and Paige.

She often talks down to them and about them, referring to them as “the kids”. Marissa is barely a full year older than them (my mom got pregnant with the twins when she was only 5 months old). I’ve told her a few times that they aren’t that far apart and them being a year younger doesn’t mean they’re any less mature than her.

Other important information, Avery and Paige are about to start college for early childhood education and work as nannies, for infants. They’ve been babysitting since they were 14, for children of various ages.

Recently, Marissa had her second baby. I didn’t see this before it was deleted, but apparently, she posted a picture of him in his car seat coming home from the hospital. Avery says the chest clips were not in the right position. She showed me the text she sent to Marissa and it was pretty gentle, saying how cute the baby was then adding that maybe she fixed it after the photo, but in case she didn’t, this is how they should be. Marissa’s response was “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m their mother”.

I was going to stay out of it and let them handle it, but when I went to visit Marissa and the baby, she began venting to me. Saying that “these kids” don’t know what they’re talking about. Her boyfriend chimed in to say that Avery was right, they did have it wrong. Marissa rolled her eyes and said “the children think they’re grown, but turning 18 doesn’t make them adults”. I pointed out that Avery was just looking out for the baby’s safety and wasn’t saying it to be mean. Marissa says she doesn’t need to be told how to parent by “a child”.

That’s when I said that she had her first when she was younger than they are now, and is still only a year older. She needs to stop dismissing them as “kids”, especially when they’re only trying to help. As a mom of 3 myself, I totally get that postpartum is a bitch and you’re hormonal, but she can’t put her baby in danger simply because she doesn’t want to listen to “the kids”.

Marissa got irritated with me. I had come over to clean the house for her, so I did that and then left. Our parents side with the twins and myself, but some family members think it was “too soon” to talk to her about it. Avery pointed out it wasn’t an opinion she shared, it was safety. I also think considering this is an issue even when Marissa isn’t postpartum, it was something she needed to hear. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok-Quote-274 on 2023-06-24 23:44:43+00:00.

For context, my husband and I trade off days on the weekend to sleep in. He gets Saturday, I get Sunday.

Lately however, I have been beyond extremely exhausted. I'm pregnant with our third and deal with hypothyroidism. Our second is going through a sleep regression and consistently wakes up in the night, something my husband never handles (which is fine). I have had to pick up a part time data entry job to help make ends meet, but we don't have the money for childcare. So during naps, down time, after bedtime I have been working. He has started coming home complaining the house is a mess or dinner isn't ready, which I try to let roll off my shoulders. This is a new season we are both in after all. But it wears on me emotionally. I have expressed how tired I am and how I am in need of a little extra support. He gets frustrated and tells me he's just as tired. Hes had to pick up overtime and is feeling stress from that. Usually however that's where the conversation ends and I walk away feeling dismissed. This past week was particularly rough. I felt I was at a breaking point and just needed some rest. As we were driving home from somewhere I told my husband that I know Saturday he sleeps in, but I seriously just needed a weekend where I could catch up on sleep. He launches into a fight about how its not fair and he's tired too. He said I could sleep in if he could take a couple of naps on Saturday and Sunday. I told him sleeping in wasn't helpful if it meant I had to go solo on the weekend while he took two naps both days. He told me that's how relationships work and he's offering support but I have to be fair. I told him nevermind. I'll just get up. He responded that that was my problem and launches into a yelling tailspin on how i need to learn to be fair and no one said I couldn't sleep. I just need to let him nap. I'm the one making things worse. This is my own hole I'm digging On and on and on. To which I, at this point completely spent, pulled the car over and told him to find somewhere for the night, and then drove home. I felt in that moment being alone with the kids was better than being around someone but feeling alone. So, aita?

Edit to add

1.He is normally a very difficult person, which is made worse by our crazy busy schedule.

1. I do normally handle all that comes with running a household. Before I added in a pregnancy and work it was important to me that he came home and had nothing on his plate except focusing on the kids. I obviously am not superwoman though and I don't think he's recognized that things on my end have changed. Maybe that's making him a tad bit irritated.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/fuckyeahimtired on 2023-06-25 02:43:47+00:00.

We ended up having an impromptu large family gathering and we decided to get some chicken to go from a fast food place. We got there at 8:45 and they close at 10:00. It was a large order so we were prepared to wait and had no problem with the potential wait time. While we were waiting, a worker kept loudly complaining about there being no chicken and having to cook it. All the other workers were preparing the incoming orders and one even said that they had been very slow and then gotten a few orders so they were trying to keep up. I told them it was no problem and that we completely understood. The one worker kept saying that if it was them they would cancel orders because they leave in an hour and that it’s ridiculous for people to order so late. They would walk out and say I quit then come back inside. I’ve never worked in the restaurant industry but I feel like an hour and 15 is plenty of time to prepare the food. Again, it was a to go order so they wouldn’t have to clean up after us. I hate being a burden to service workers so if was please let me know!

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ninaaxz on 2023-06-25 08:11:50+00:00.

I'm a (18F) and I normally only wear bras when I go out, because its uncomfortable, itchy and yk, you gotta let the girls breathe a lil.

Yesterday I went to my uncles house for a stay over. once I arrived to the house, I took off my bra as usual and just started to get comfortable.

at dinner time, I noticed my uncle and male causin acting a bit weird around me, and my aunt and female cousin were giving me looks and looking at my breasts I couldn't tell what for. after dinner, my female cousin pulled me aside and asked me why I wasn't wearing a bra.

I told her because we are in the house. She told me that my uncle and her brother was in the house too. I got confused and told her so what, I also have a dad and brother at my house, they never cared if I wore a bra or not in the house.

she got annoyed and told me to wear it and that I can take it off before sleep and to put it back on once I wake up. I refused and told her I was not going to spend the whole day in my bra. she told me she and her mom does and that I'm being dramatic.

I said no again, walked out her room and basically spent the whole night in the guest room where I was gonna sleep. now its morning as I'm writing this, I'm not wearing a bra and both my cousin and aunt gave me annoyed looks and a forced good morning when I said good morning to them. Now I feel a little guilty. Should I just wear the bra? AITA for not?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kuebeecee on 2023-06-25 02:47:15+00:00.

My brother and his wife are late to everything. It’s usually not just a few minutes late. We are talking hours late.

Every Christmas we always gather at my parent’s house at an agreed upon time. Being punctual for this is important because my mom cooks and has to start cooking at a specific time and opening gifts can take up a lot of time so things are pretty scheduled (basically).

Every year we would start at 10am but my brother and his wife would usually show up around 12pm. Each year my mom would have the meet up time set back earlier and earlier in the hope of getting them there at our typical 10am meet up time. (Which I think is ridiculous) I always complained about their constant tardiness to my mom and she always told me to never say anything about it.

This past year I was fed up and finally made a comment about it. When my sister-in-law came into the house two hours late, she said laughingly, “sorry, we’re on Filipino time.” I couldn’t help myself and blurted out “this ain’t the Philippines.” My mom was absolutely mortified and told me how horrible that was after everyone left.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Gentrified_Tramp on 2023-06-25 06:13:20+00:00.

AITA for calling the cops on my gf? So tonight I (34m) was playing cards with some of my buddies and it was around 11 pm. I told my gf (34F) that I would come over to her house after I went home to let my dog out and we finished playing. I told her it would probably be around 1 AM. Around 11:20 she messaged me saying that she thought someone was inside of her apartment. I then picked up my phone and called her and the call went to voicemail and this was around 45 seconds after she messaged me. I tried to call her several more times and again all straight to voicemail. I also tried texting her but none were going through. After 5 minutes of no response I called the police and asked for a welfare check because I was worried about her well being and her not answering. I’m not usually like that but the urgency of the text and the lack of contact afterwards worried me. She finally responds after 20 minutes and is mad that I called the cops on her because she had mmj in the house and we are not in a legal state and it could affect her career. When she contacted me I contacted the dispatch to let them know I made contact and that she was safe but the police were already on the scene. I was just worried about her and my adrenaline was through the roof. I’m not sure if I panicked too much and should have just let it play out but also didn’t want to live with anything going wrong. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/genxb456 on 2023-06-25 01:35:05+00:00.

After much effort, I've finally managed to pull together enough of my old classmates to have a school reunion. I'd say class reunion, but our school only ever had 103 alumni, so it's not really necessary to do one for each class. Most of the alumni were fairly easy to reach as we've kept in close contact over the years. All but one girl that I'll call Bell who unsurprisingly ghosted us right after she graduated.

Our school was...eccentric. It was designed for very specific types of students and had high expectations, and with that comes with some unusual attitudes and policies. One of their most unusual was against 'fraternization'. Making and having friends wasn't banned, per se, but interactions between students were closely monitored and had to be "beneficial'. If they didn’t view it as beneficial, there would be a disciplinary meeting. The consequences varied depending on what the circumstances were. Most of the time, it was just a warning about not 'becoming a distraction to each other' or enforced solo study time for a few weeks. The worst consequence was being put on probation, which was one step above being expelled and involved staying above a 3.0, not being allowed to have personal electronics after 8 pm (instead of 10), and losing off campus time for the entirety of the semester, but that only ever happened if it was extreme or involved someone of the opposite sex.

Most of us liked not feeling social pressure, so I've only heard of a few times where there wasn't just a warning. The summer after sophomore year, one of our other classmates saw Bell hanging out with a male friend of hers. The rules technically applied both on and off campus, so when she reported it back, Bell ended up being put on probation for the entirety of fall semester.

She got sick and spent most of our senior year in and out of the hospital. I'm convinced she was only passed that last semester because they felt some level of sympathy. She turned down the standard offer for college help, and cut contact after.

Some people have noticed that she's not on the list and are asking me about it. I don't want to invite her. The last time we spoke about a year after, she demanded to be left alone to "live a normal life". I want to respect her wishes to not be involved, but also, I don't want to deal with her. She made it clear that she was disgusted by all of us and the school, and now I'm supposed to bother her? They want me to try. I have found her social media, and judging from that, they would just judge her anyway. She way underachieved, but she has her perfectly average, normal life. She looks happy, and I hope she is. I just think the best thing is to leave her out of this. They say she's a graduate and needs to be invited. Am I wrong that she doesn't?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/teacherplacement on 2023-06-25 01:09:20+00:00.

I’m (19f) a teaching assistant at a preschool. We have 2 playgrounds, one small one by our classrooms that we use every day and a big one that we share with 2 other preschools on the same campus. We go to the big one twice a week. It’s always me, a teacher, and 15-20 kids.

My coworker and I used to sit at the front where we could see everything that was being used by our kids and the 2 gates in and out of the playground. My boss didn’t like that we talked instead of watching the kids (apparently you can’t do both) so she said one has to stay by the sandbox and one at the front.

Then on Thursday a little girl fell off our swing. She was fine but my boss is upset that she could’ve gotten hurt and says one of us has to be standing by the swing. I told her the swing is in more of a secluded area so if I’m standing by the swing and my coworker is watching the sandbox, the majority of the kids would be unsupervised and we wouldn’t be able to see the gate. She insisted that she knew what she was talking about and that we just don’t want to work so I told her to take a lap around the playground, think about what she said, and get back to me.

She’s pissed and is threatening to take away the raise and extra hours I was promised (not gonna happen but she’ll try real hard) so I wanted to know if I was the asshole.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/QuickTangelo2155 on 2023-06-25 03:28:10+00:00.

So, my fiancée (28f) and I(31m) are getting married in a few months. She has been on a strict diet to look her best for our wedding. I understand that she wants to feel confident and beautiful and I fully support her decision to make positive changes to her lifestyle. However, things have started to get a little tense between us and I'm not sure if I'm to blame.

She has been getting increasingly upset whenever I eat normally around her. She's expressed that it's difficult for her to resist temptation when she sees me enjoying desserts or indulging in treats. I've tried to be understanding and accommodating, but I also believe that I shouldn't have to alter my eating habits completely just because she's on a diet. I work a very physical job and have an active lifestyle. I've never had the most healthy eating habits but because of how active I am it's never been a problem for me.

Tonight was the breaking point. On my way home, I stopped by Chick-fil-A, which happens to be one of my fiancée's favorite fast food places. I thought I'd surprise her with a treat since she's been doing so good on her diet. When I got home and told her, she absolutely exploded. She called me selfish and unsupportive, saying that I was intentionally trying to sabotage her progress.

I never meant to hurt her and I genuinely thought I was doing something nice by bringing home her favorite food. But now I'm questioning whether I've been insensitive throughout this whole process. Should I have refrained from eating certain things around her even if they're not part of her diet? Am I really the selfish one here?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RichUse4551 on 2023-06-25 02:58:49+00:00.

My girlfriend (26F) and I (26M) recently bought a house together. She is an artist and has been decorating the house, which I don't mind at all. It’s her way of expressing herself, and I think she's quite talented.

We had an agreement that the extra bedroom would be used for my band practice. I play guitar and sing in a band with some friends, and we needed a space to rehearse.

Yesterday I came home to find that she's painted the curtains in my band practice room. I was furious and yelled at her. I even ripped the curtains out of anger. I thought it was understood that this room was off-limits for her artistic projects. I didn’t tell her this, but I assumed it was common sense. She started crying and won't talk to me now.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Less-Question-2434 on 2023-06-25 00:42:24+00:00.

I (F25) lived with my BF (M26) and our friend (F25) who we will call Amy. I told Amy I would rent with her this year at the start of the previous year and started dating my BF six months later. I wanted to live with my BF but had told Amy I would live with her and I don’t break promises, so we all moved into a two bed flat with Amy paying a little more because she had a room to herself. We decided to split the chores when living together so Amy did the cleaning around the flat while me and my BF cooked dinner for all three of us every night. Amy paid a third of our food bill to keep it fair. Things went well at first but Amy has anxiety and it got frustrating when she skirted around like we were going to hit her. It felt like a vicious circle because she would act like we were mad at her and then we got mad at her for being irritating.

A few things she did that annoyed us were: she wouldn’t share snacks even though we shared dinner with her, she went out with her friends and didn’t invite us, she tidied away our stuff, she would always leave if my BF and I were being flirty.

I know communication is important so we would sit her down to talk about stuff like this but it didn’t work. It all came to a head when she told us at work that her cousin (who is on antipsychotics for depression) was coming to visit for a week the next week. We acted professional but text her later to say we wanted to have a talk with her about her behaviour. When we got home and sat her down, she said she was going to start cooking dinner for herself and her cousin but would keep cleaning the flat anyway, she said her cousin and her wouldn’t come out of her room much, etc. etc. Once she stopped, I told her that what she’d done at work was completely unacceptable and we wouldn’t be tolerating that in the future I then told her we wouldn’t be allowing her cousin to visit because of her mental health problems - we didn’t feel comfortable with someone like that visiting our home. She was so angry that we’d brought her cousin’s mental health into things and accused us of using that as an excuse because we “hated her”. She started flinging accusations at us, saying things like we never give her a fair share of the food, saying we treat her like a maid and that we’re inappropriate in the communal spaces.

Eventually she asked why we hated her and I told her all the problems we had. Like, this is a girl that we absolutely welcomed into our lives and she couldn’t even be big enough to apologise for acting like a greedy child. Anyway, my BF and I were going away on holiday for 5 days the next day but when we got back to the flat, it was spotless with all of her stuff gone and her rent payments were cancelled. A few of our mutual work friends helped her move out the day after we left and now I feel like we are being judged by everyone at work over not letting her cousin stay.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/InspectionUnhappy381 on 2023-06-24 23:43:50+00:00.

Some friends and I was going out for my girlfriend’s birthday next week. It was mainly a couple event at a sushi restaurant my girl loves. My friend Mike just entered a relationship and I asked him to bring his girlfriend. He gets back to me a few days later explaining that his new girlfriend doesn’t like sushi but she’d be happy about eating anywhere else. I said that’s fine don’t come. Mike said he’ll talk to her again but I explained to Mike him and her are no longer invited since you already tried to change the restaurant just because your new girlfriend does like it. He tries arguing with me that he wants to come because it’s the first time she’s been invited to the friend group. I repeated that they are no longer invited because it’s my girlfriend’s birthday and I don’t want any drama. Mike tried to say there wouldn’t be but I told him his new girlfriend was already acting like a diva at someone else’s party so that’s why she’s not going. He tried saying she just didn’t like sushi and I said that’s ok you don’t have to take her to a sushi restaurant for her birthday but we are still going for my girlfriend’s birthday and you guys are no longer invited. Mike called me a dick and told the other couples who was going about how disrespectful I’m being to his girlfriend over this and he just wanted her to feel comfortable with everyone.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MikkiTh on 2023-06-24 23:23:58+00:00.

It's really a we since my husband and I agree. A few years ago I inherited a property with a basement apartment. We renovated it and my niece and her siblings have lived in it until this year. The backstory on that is that my SIL abandoned them a few years ago to run off with a trucker. For the last 6 years other than occasional drop ins she's been leading a life on the road (her words) and anytime it was pointed out that she had two minor children she would insist her oldest child was capable of taking care of her siblings.

While it is true my niece stepped up, we were a huge part of her being able to do so since we only charged nominal rent and everyone sort of chipped in to make sure the kids had their needs met. Now the kids are mostly grown (nephew in college, youngest niece in high school) and they're just about ready to move out. Their plan is to be in another place closer to my niece's high school and my nephew's college next month.

In the interim my FIL has died and my MIL is headed for a long term care facility. My SIL's trucker boyfriend died suddenly and now she's "ready to come home" except there's no home to come to, the house my inlaws owned is being sold to defray the costs of my MIL's care. My SIL has asked us to rent the basement unit and my husband and I have said no. A. We have plans to use that space for our youngest (a senior in high school) while he's in college since he plans to stay in town and B. We just don't want the headache of my SIL. She swears she's changed but in a call the week before he died she still had the same airy "I'm busy doing things I want to do" attitude and that was about visiting my MIL in the hospital.

Granted we have the space technically since the unit will be empty until next fall, and she swears she'll be out by then, but neither of us believe her. She's 52 and has nothing since she was apparently living off what the boyfriend earned all of these years. Except for his brothers, the rest of the family have been a non stop barrage of shaming us for not doing more, but none of them are volunteering to take her in. They seem convinced she's learned her lesson from his death and the quick discovery that he left her absolutely nothing except damaged relationships with her kids and siblings. AWTA for refusing to even entertain the possibility that she has changed?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Crazy_Yam_2891 on 2023-06-24 17:58:08+00:00.

AITA- so back in December I went to an event with my boyfriend and they had raffles and prizes. We agreed before going out that we would buy the 100 pack of tickets (or so I thought) he gave me his cash to hold in my purse. I bought the 100 pack and then put the tickets in for the prizes. Then he asked me for his money and was mad I spent $50 of his money on the tickets. He said I stole from him and shouldn’t have spent his money. He said that now he didn’t have money to buy drinks (I gave him 20 dollars of my money, but he basically argued with me throughout the night until he left and went somewhere else. I was left at the event alone but didn’t want to leave until they drew the tickets for the prizes. I ended up winning one of the grand prizes of two tickets to see Taylor swift and two night hotel accommodations.

I was over joyed and the next morning he was still mad and sending me a million messages and kept saying I stole from him. So I sent him 50 dollars back and left it at that. We broke up a few days later and I never mentioned anything about winning the tickets. We were separated for 5 months and then got back together in April. I made plans to go to the concert with my best friend during that time and I finally brought it up that I was planning on going out of town to attend the concert with her. He asked how I got the tickets and I told him that I won them. he was super mad and is now saying I stole the concert tickets from him. The concert is next week and I don’t know what to do.

AITA- for not telling him I won them right away and for still wanting to go with my best friend?

He keeps telling me I stole these tickets from him. He also thinks I only sent him his money back the next day because I won the tickets and didn’t want to give him a ticket. Which is not true, he was still complaining about me “stealing” his money to buy tickets for the prizes.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NoAlcWedding12345 on 2023-06-25 00:20:46+00:00.

One of my (M35) best friends (M34) got married last week.  He drinks alcohol and our friend group will meet up at breweries a few times a month to hang out.  His fiance, now wife, does not drink.  Its never been a part of her life.  

My wife and I got a hotel room by the reception space and ubered to the wedding. The ceremony occurs, we go to whats supposed to be cocktail hour and there was just soda and water.  No alcohol.  This was not something we knew about ahead of time.  There was a palpable buzz among our friend group at the lack of booze.  A lot of us had spent money on a hotel room and ubering anticipating drinking.  I'm kind of pissed.

Bride and Groom come to cocktail hour, everyone cheers, and when the bride and groom come mingle with us I ask where is the booze?  His new wife chimes in saying her family does not drink and they were paying for the wedding, thus no alcohol. I tell them we should know that ahead of time.  I say i wasted money on a hotel room and ubering.  I would have just driven if i'd known or maybe not even had come.  The bride does not take my commentary well and implies I might have a drinking problem (I don't, I only drink with my friends).  The groom says I don't need to be such an asshole.  I reiterate that I spent a bunch of money on something I didn't need, we all did.  The brides pissed at me and asks me to leave.  

My wife andI leave, but its clear I touched a nerve.  In our group chat, friends were mixed on me saying something.  My wife said I wasn't wrong, but my timing was wrong.  So was i the asshole?  

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Slow-Huckleberry-773 on 2023-06-25 00:13:36+00:00.

Before we start sorry for the long write. here's some backstory. I (f 30) let my niece (f 20) live in the basement of my house while she's in university until she can find a place of her own. I am married to my husband (m 30) and we have one child (f 3), we live in a decently large house with a full basement. At Christmas 2 years ago, my sister (f 45) announced that her daughter let's call "Ella" had been accepted to the university of her dreams. I just so happen to live a few bus stops away from this school, so naturally as a good aunt I decided to put the offer for her to live with us while she went to school there. I had a few conditions obviously, but nothing too "over the top".

1. Pay rent, the rent isn't expensive either. It's a lot cheaper than most other places in our city.
2. If she's going to be staying with us she needs to have a job, a plan to move out as soon as she's financially able.
3. If she is having friends over she should make sure we're okay with it and just to keep her "party" decently quiet since we do have a toddler. To be honest she was a pretty good tenant, she paid rent on time, she was an extremely good student, she even had dinner with us and offered to watch our daughter while we had date nights. Around her 20th birthday she got a bit more, irresponsible . She lost her job (which was a fairly well paying job) meaning she stopped paying all rents, she became a lot louder, which as a student I wouldn't be too concerned about but it was getting to the point where she would invite random people over for parties and the neighbours would call the police for the noise. I hit my limit when I found out she was kicked out of the school she worked so hard to get into. I called my sister to ask if she knew anything about all of this and she for some reason was angry and yelled, "Who cares she's just living her life" and hung up. As expected, I was furious so I did my little snooping and I called her old manager to figure out why she was fired, turns out she was dealing on the job. I have no idea why or where she would've gotten any of that but she did. I emailed the dean of the school she attended and apparently she just stopped showing to her classed and basically failed. I took it upon myself to talk to my husband and her father since my sister wanted nothing to do with any of this. I wrote up a little letter telling her she had to move out within 2 weeks or I'll be removing her stuff myself and she'll be basically homeless. The day of, her mother showed up to my door screaming at me and her daughter hadn't even packed anything up. My husband called the police and they removed her. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RevolutionaryOwl5196 on 2023-06-24 22:07:33+00:00.

I very well could be the AH here. I'm temporarily staying with a 46yo family friend and her 2 daughters (13 and 22). I pay $600 a month (+ all my own food) to stay on her couch. My footprint here is minimal, as during the day I sit in my vehicle all day working (from my phone). I don't even bring my clothes inside.

Anyways, her oldest daughter got in to a car accident roughly 2 weeks ago and she didn't have insurance (she was at fault). Her car is totaled. She has been getting rides from coworkers to and from work to try and save for another vehicle. However, her coworkers are tired of picking her up, as it's a 20+ minute detour every morning at 6am. She works about 45 minutes away. So for the past 2 days her mother has been going from working the overnight, back home to pick her kid up, driving her kid to work, coming home to sleep and then up again at 1:30pm to go back and pick her kid up from work and then trying to squeeze a nap in prior to her overnight shift. She said it's also costing her an extra $80 in gas a week.

She just asked me to start driving her kid to work until her daughter saves up enough money for another car. I absolutely refuse. For starters, I have 330k miles on my vehicle and a gas leak. It cost me $40 to drive a half hour. That's $80+ a day in gas and frankly, I am not willing to do it. I simply don't want to. My work day starts at 8am and I already don't like getting up that early. Add in the other headache details and I'm all set. My roommate is trying to guilt trip me in to it; saying I'm staying here too and "everyone needs to chip in and pull their weight". I feel I already am, considering what I pay her to sleep on a couch and then hang out in my vehicle all day. AITA?

ETA: I'm 28 weeks pregnant. My husband died when I was 8 weeks. I spiraled and lost everything after his passing. That's why I'm here. There's not much more to say about it.