this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/NoAlcWedding12345 on 2023-06-25 00:20:46+00:00.


One of my (M35) best friends (M34) got married last week.  He drinks alcohol and our friend group will meet up at breweries a few times a month to hang out.  His fiance, now wife, does not drink.  Its never been a part of her life.  

My wife and I got a hotel room by the reception space and ubered to the wedding. The ceremony occurs, we go to whats supposed to be cocktail hour and there was just soda and water.  No alcohol.  This was not something we knew about ahead of time.  There was a palpable buzz among our friend group at the lack of booze.  A lot of us had spent money on a hotel room and ubering anticipating drinking.  I'm kind of pissed.

Bride and Groom come to cocktail hour, everyone cheers, and when the bride and groom come mingle with us I ask where is the booze?  His new wife chimes in saying her family does not drink and they were paying for the wedding, thus no alcohol. I tell them we should know that ahead of time.  I say i wasted money on a hotel room and ubering.  I would have just driven if i'd known or maybe not even had come.  The bride does not take my commentary well and implies I might have a drinking problem (I don't, I only drink with my friends).  The groom says I don't need to be such an asshole.  I reiterate that I spent a bunch of money on something I didn't need, we all did.  The brides pissed at me and asks me to leave.  

My wife andI leave, but its clear I touched a nerve.  In our group chat, friends were mixed on me saying something.  My wife said I wasn't wrong, but my timing was wrong.  So was i the asshole?  

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'd say yes for sure. OP already spent the money on the uber and hotel room, might as well enjoy it! If they knew the wife didn't drink before the wedding they could have asked. Also, coming from someone who used to drink a lot, if you can't have fun without drinking, you DO have a drinking problem. And that's OK to admit!