this post was submitted on 25 Jun 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Terrible_Pie_2403 on 2023-06-25 01:46:46+00:00.


I (30F) have 3 younger sisters, “Marissa” (19) along with twins, “Avery” and “Paige” (18). When she was 16, Marissa had her first child. While this did make her grow up a little bit, I honestly wouldn’t say she’s any more mature than Avery and Paige. It wouldn’t be a problem, except Marissa loves to pretend she’s miles above Avery and Paige.

She often talks down to them and about them, referring to them as “the kids”. Marissa is barely a full year older than them (my mom got pregnant with the twins when she was only 5 months old). I’ve told her a few times that they aren’t that far apart and them being a year younger doesn’t mean they’re any less mature than her.

Other important information, Avery and Paige are about to start college for early childhood education and work as nannies, for infants. They’ve been babysitting since they were 14, for children of various ages.

Recently, Marissa had her second baby. I didn’t see this before it was deleted, but apparently, she posted a picture of him in his car seat coming home from the hospital. Avery says the chest clips were not in the right position. She showed me the text she sent to Marissa and it was pretty gentle, saying how cute the baby was then adding that maybe she fixed it after the photo, but in case she didn’t, this is how they should be. Marissa’s response was “Don’t tell me what to do, I’m their mother”.

I was going to stay out of it and let them handle it, but when I went to visit Marissa and the baby, she began venting to me. Saying that “these kids” don’t know what they’re talking about. Her boyfriend chimed in to say that Avery was right, they did have it wrong. Marissa rolled her eyes and said “the children think they’re grown, but turning 18 doesn’t make them adults”. I pointed out that Avery was just looking out for the baby’s safety and wasn’t saying it to be mean. Marissa says she doesn’t need to be told how to parent by “a child”.

That’s when I said that she had her first when she was younger than they are now, and is still only a year older. She needs to stop dismissing them as “kids”, especially when they’re only trying to help. As a mom of 3 myself, I totally get that postpartum is a bitch and you’re hormonal, but she can’t put her baby in danger simply because she doesn’t want to listen to “the kids”.

Marissa got irritated with me. I had come over to clean the house for her, so I did that and then left. Our parents side with the twins and myself, but some family members think it was “too soon” to talk to her about it. Avery pointed out it wasn’t an opinion she shared, it was safety. I also think considering this is an issue even when Marissa isn’t postpartum, it was something she needed to hear. AITA?

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