That's pretty rad π€ your concerns are deal breaks for me though.
I'm interested in the paper bag way, but did you say you put a staple in there? I was under the impression that you shouldn't put metal in the microwave. You obviously know better than me if you're doing it, I just want to make sure before I burn my house down.
Regardless of our differences in garbage strategy, surely we can at least agree that threatening to decapitate someone for using your garbage can is, at the very best, completely insane.