this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Programming

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Most of the entries were just funny, the last one is a nuke:

  1. I heard that the only real application for that technology was child pornography. How did you hear about it?
[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago

power tripping legislators when someone mentions encryption

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Gonna use this next time someone suggests using excel as a database

[–] [email protected] 48 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Trying to build a team behind that technology would be a staffing nightmare.

An incredibly valid consideration that too often goes ignored.

[–] BrianTheeBiscuiteer 13 points 11 months ago

Oh, this one stings. My company uses a proprietary platform for it's most critical records but we require a technical certification to even use its API. Pretty much an entire division said, "Fuck you! We're not tying up our people for 3 months to study and acquire a certification. We just won't use it!"

[–] SpaceNoodle 46 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I like your idea. Why don't you write up a white paper and we'll review it at the next staff meeting?

I think I might have said this verbatim before

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That one feels too cruel. If you said that to some junior dev they'd likely do it... and probably in their free time.

That said with fellow senior devs if someone suggests something completely off the wall I will occasionally respond with, essentially, prove it first.

[–] Carighan 14 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

"It's* better** to do things*** by this approach."

Always throw a spanner in there with:

*: [citation needed]
**: According to who exactly?
***: Please specify exact use cases

[–] SpaceNoodle 8 points 11 months ago

It's more Pythonic.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

With a senior engineer it's perfectly reasonable to just say "ok, implement it and let me know how it works."

Like the whole point is that they should be relatively independent and capable of taking ideas from paper to product.

[–] idunnololz 14 points 11 months ago

I was told to write my idea into an article to share internally with engineers. Then someone internally reached out to post it on our company tech blog. Then it got published on the tech blog. So I guess that's something?

[–] waz 29 points 11 months ago

As a started reading I thought "Hmm, some of these remind me of [coworker x]". As I continued I realized all of these remind me of [coworker x].

I might have to turn some of these into bingo cards.

[–] computergeek125 23 points 11 months ago

I've got one to add that should be used more often than it is.

Wouldn't that require running the service as an admin?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

“I’m afraid that isn’t according to best practices”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

We’ll never get it certified if we do it that way.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Didn't read all, however, thanks for sharing. Made me laugh and I certainly needed a good laugh today

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

If we go with that idea, we're going to have Don Marti camped out in the front lobby with 300 angry software jihad supporters.

do it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago