Granted, now Chrome OS has 100% market share. Google owns everyone's privacy.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
35 points (87.2% liked)
The Monkey's Paw
600 readers
1 users here now
Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
It only happened because Windows now uses the Linux kernel. KDE foundation got bought by Microsoft, Red Hat sold to Tencent.
It’s Red Star Linux. You can patch out the spyware but that requires about 10 terminal commands and 95% of people say it’s not worth the trouble.
Granted. Microsoft ports the Linux kernel to Windows and it replaces the NT Kernel. The Windows API remains the same and users are none-the-wiser.
Granted. Everybody's boomer parents and grandparents across the globe now call you, and only you, for support. You are on call, 24/7, until all support issues are resolved.
- I was watching Vinnetou: The Last Shot and then I see The native peer died unexpectedly.
- That's just what happens in the film. What's next, number columns on screen when you started The Matrix? Skipping in Groundhog Day?
Basically the God's email part of Bruce Almighty.
Eventually OP creates a ticket system to manage all the incoming support requests. They finally lose it when Mrs. Johnson has somehow run "sudo rm -rf /" for the 6th time this week and has also somehow managed to disable preserve root.
A major solar flare destroys all electronics on Earth and its orbit. The only computer that survives is the Perseverance rover on Mars, which famously runs the Linux kernel.
Granted. You're the Linux expert all your family will ask for tech support. They all have different package managers, desktop environments, and init systems. Over half of them still hunt and peck when typing.
Granted. Every motherboard now has mandated government spyware installed on it by the manufacturer that cannot be uninstalled.
Granted! AAA Game Developers have all moved to console exclusive titles, and businesses have moved to all mobile. With that, Windows leaves the market leaving place for only Linux.
Granted. "I use Arch", is now a common catch phrase, so popular it's part of a Broadway show.
Granted. Enjoy Microsoft's new flagship product: Windows Linux Version.
Every computer runs WSL.
and only WSL.
Granted, now all computers run Linux. For a year. Then every computer switches back to windows, including all servers.
Granted. Microsoft has acquired total control of Linux by ousting Linus Torvalds for uncivil behavior. To protect malicious retribution from Linus sympathisers, Linux has been made closed source. The good news is that with Microsoft in full control of Linux, Bing has been deeply integrated into Linux, leveraging the power of AI and data analytics.
Granted. Software is not affected, and anything that relied on other operations systems to run doesn't work anymore.
. Due to a systemic security hole in windows and all Microsoft products (including excel the backing behind global financial analysis). The hack had to do with a compromised assembly compiler that compiled essentially all the dot net cplusplus redistributable that compiled all the Microsoft production code for over a decade. Also MAC is affected by the same compiler error for over a decade due to the compromises that allowed internet explorer be default on the Mac for a time
Now hackers detect and hack internet connected windows machines faster than Microsoft can detect an issue with windows defender or other feedback streams.. Within days every IT team in the world converts to Linux LTSsupport of a debian based os.
The financial world and global productivity is teetering on a recession as all the "intuitive layout and troubleshooting" of common folks from decades of "windows control panel" and "click on file > options > do the thing" is out the window. During the decline in profit, everyone in your community loses their jobs including yours, and you lose your house, and long term relationships.
Granted. Twitter is full to bursting of people complaining about how bad Linux is. You've seen those seething play-by-play blog posts by people trying Linux for the first time who didn't have someone to guide them and everything turned out terrible and now their vitriol towards the Linux community knows no bounds? The ones listing every single thing that went wrong while installing/using Linux, describing each in excruciating detail, and adding a few that the poster made up for good measure? Multiply that by every computer user on Earth.