this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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The Monkey's Paw
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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
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Basically the God's email part of Bruce Almighty.
Eventually OP creates a ticket system to manage all the incoming support requests. They finally lose it when Mrs. Johnson has somehow run "sudo rm -rf /" for the 6th time this week and has also somehow managed to disable preserve root.