998
submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.

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[-] [email protected] 251 points 5 months ago

Damn the Onion is on fire lately.

[-] cybervseas 90 points 5 months ago
[-] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

I do not know if I should upvote or downvote you, but something has to be done!

[-] cybervseas 16 points 5 months ago

I don't know anymore either.

[-] simulacra_simulacrum 14 points 5 months ago

Goddamn bro

[-] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

And all it took was a human catastrophe.

[-] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

Crazy-laugh-cry

[-] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

So true, its keeping me slightly more sane (less insane maybe more accurate) about the whole mess

[-] [email protected] 148 points 5 months ago

I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.

[-] the16bitgamer 8 points 5 months ago

Yeah yeah tell it to the Judge

[-] 3ntranced 7 points 5 months ago

Pack it up boys, we got him.

[-] Cookiesandcreamclouds 2 points 5 months ago

It was me all along??

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[-] RizzRustbolt 58 points 5 months ago

I am disgusted by my actions.

[-] Wakmrow 9 points 5 months ago

Before we start this thread can we all agree to condemn your actions?

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot 4 points 5 months ago

I am ashamed of my words and deeds.

[-] SuckMyWang 3 points 5 months ago
[-] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago

We've been trying to reach you about your hospital's extended warranty...

[-] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago

Thank god I didn’t read the article.

[-] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago
[-] ChihuahuaOfDoom 11 points 5 months ago
[-] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

you're not you when you're hungry

[-] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago
[-] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago

Man, that guy that got mad about a joke that called him dense regarding this topic is going to be pissed about this.

[-] hightrix 13 points 5 months ago

You have me as a reference when you apply to The Onion.

[-] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago

What if the real treasure is the hospitals we bombed along the way?

[-] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

Ahh shit, got found out. Time to run

[-] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago
[-] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Dogyote you are under arrest for crimes against humanity

[-] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Woopsie doodles

[-] PwnTra1n 23 points 5 months ago

I’m sure I had a good reason

[-] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago
[-] Jordan117 19 points 5 months ago
[-] Resol 15 points 5 months ago

Guess I am banned from leaving my house then

[-] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

And restricted to 2,279 calories per day.

And no medicine.

Lemme see your knee caps…

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago

Haha! I am pacifist and I did not open the link!

[-] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Shit, they caught me!

[-] FlyingSquid 9 points 5 months ago

Yeah? So? What's the big deal?

[-] Devouring 8 points 5 months ago

It was a parking lot fire. No hospital blew up. The propaganda has to stop.

[-] Nobody 16 points 5 months ago

Yeah, I don't agree with what Israel is doing in Gaza and am under no illusions that the IDF doesn't do bad things, but the evidence just doesn't back up the "hospital airstrike with 500 dead" claims. Footage shows a rocket fired from inside Gaza misfiring and landing in a parking lot next to the hospital. The geolocation of the footage has been verified. The visible damage is burned up cars in a parking lot. The actual hospital wasn't hit by anything and the damage is way more consistent with burning rocket fuel than a high explosive detonation, which would have left a massive crater where the parking lot used to be.

[-] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

Genuine question - 500 people died, right? Did that actually happen, and was it a result of this?

[-] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

500 would be an insane death toll even for an actual JDAM strike on a building. Currently, however, nothing indcates that this was an Israeli strike. Their bombs are massive compared to the ones Hamas is using. The parking lot which the rocket hit is barely damaged except for the damage caused by fire. If it was Israeli bomb there would be a massive crater on the ground. There is some DISTURBING NSFL FOOTAGE that seems to indicate, that there indeed was several casualties in that strike but I'd guess we're more like talking of tens, not hundreds of dead.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Oh wow, I haven't seen pictures of this until now (only clicks your first link thanks very much) but I assumed it was a parking "building" (sorry I don't know the correct English word). But this is just a parking lot.

It's almost like the footage you see whenever there is a Tesla fire

[-] Devouring 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

It's a lie. 500 people didn't die because of that. Propaganda.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

No. The number of people dying was almost certainly smaller.

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[-] JewGoblin 3 points 5 months ago

who do I turn myself into?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Its not over till it's over.

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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
998 points (92.9% liked)

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