this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023

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Those who were adamantly opposed to arranged marriage but went through with it anyways how did it turn out? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/asklemmy

7 comments fedilink hide all child comments

If you were against arranged marriage but were pressured into getting married to someone you knew little about, how did it turn out?

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[–] Zippit 46 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sorry, long one.

Looking back, I think my oldest sister was one of the lucky ones.

One day, this guy my parents chose, flew into the country and two weeks later they were married.

The only 'good' thing is, he wasn't really religious, not bad looking and had her back, just an overall good guy. She quickly fell for him, but still begrudging him too, because it was not her choice.

He gave her more freedom, respect and trust than my parents ever did. He'd help with the kids, clean, cook, work etc... so she could go back to school for her degree.

My parents objected to that and her walking around without a stupid headscarf they pressured her into and he told them she was his wife now, he trusted her and she could do and dress as she pleased. She got her degree and started working.

They're still happily married now after 28 years and have 3 daughters. One of them even broke the wheel and married a Belgian guy :)

Times have really changed for the better for some of us.

[–] NOT_RICK 3 points 1 year ago

Wholesome, thanks for sharing

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for sharing and I'm happy to hear it worked out so well for her!

[–] jezus_christus 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So I played football with a tunesian dude which was married off for sure, I assume it was a green card thing. He never actually said it, but he "met her on holiday in the village of his grandparents" and she is multiple times a year for over a month back in Tunisia with their kids. I asked him once if he doesn't miss his children and he laughed and said "young children only need their mother with them my friend" We also never got invited to his place or actually saw her. I live in Belgium btw.

[–] tmjaea 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

As a father, reading this makes me incredibly sad

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

That idea isn't uncommon around the world either. My Exs father was basically that when they were growing up, he was Mexican-spaniard. Dude would visit for a month a year then fuck off to another country to work. Once he was able to help his wife and kids emigrate he fucked off back to his ranch and left the family in the new country. He believed it was the woman's job to raise the kids and the man was the provider. Problem is, he was barely a provider. My ex mil carried that family.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Yeah, this is depressing in so many ways. Poor kids.