this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023

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Sex education for REALLY promiscuos people? (lemmy.eco.br)

submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

28 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So...

I've always been quiet and never had much sex. That has changed. I'm in the kind of phase that people look at me and say: "You were so nice! What went wrong!?" And now I'll have sex with men, women, ~~hookers~~ escorts, ~~removeds~~ not fully transitioned MtoF transsexuals, robots, I'll probably engage in BDSM, piss play, breath play, and other exotic activities. I won't engange in drugs/chemsex that's where I draw the line.

Thus, the advice I've always been given and followed looks a little inadequate. Somehow saying to just use condoms, pills and IUD looks like insufficient knowledge to the kind of behavior I'll engage in.

Therefore I need to up my game into sex ed and STIs knowledge and prevention. I've been looking inton PrEP, but I really need to read more about diseases and prevention to protect myself and be able to treat myself if I catch something.

Any suggestion of videos, books, and other learning resources that goes beyond the "just use a condom and have a single partner?"

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[–] [email protected] 111 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Get the HPV vaccine
Get and start PrEP!!!!!!
Never brush your teeth before or after sex, tooth brushes can create microcuts in your gums. Mouthwash is better.
If your partner gives you bad feelings, has arm marks, or suspicious bumps or rashes, just say no!
Try to pee after every sexual encounter, it can help flush away anything nasty.
If your very promiscuous consider removing your pubic hair to reduce vectors for crabs.
If your partner smells, it could be yeast, best to avoid sex. But if you do it anyway apply a antifungal to your fun jungle just in case.
Get your vaccines for hepatitis, flu shot, COVID. Your going to be in close quarters with lots of people, so normal infections will be more likely
Find a doctor you like, and tell them your a mega slut, don't lie at all. Let them help reduce your risk surface.
It's a good idea to shower between partners, just general hygiene.

Bonus A: not all sex has the same risk, anything with blood is very dangerous. Mouth fluids are the safest. Vaginal discharge is safer then penile discharge. Rough order of sexual risk:

mouth to mouth
all types of oral sex
vaginal to vaginal sex
male circumcised having vaginal sex
male uncircumcised having vaginal sex
female having vaginal sex (female is at greater risk)
giving anal sex
receiving anal sex (the riskiest activity of them all)

Bonus B: if your having enough sex, someone is going to get pregnant... eventually. Be prepared for that and have a plan. (Especially if your doing stuff bareback, but it's going to happen even with protection) ... eventually

Resources: https://www.pulse-clinic.com/resources/stis

[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think I might throw frequent STD screens on that list as well. Maybe talk with a counselor too just to make sure your mind is in a good place.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

100%. If your on prep your clinic will do a std panel every 6 months or less... well they should

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Right, but sometimes you have to advocate for yourself.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

This is the first time I’ve heard about advice #3. It makes sense but I never thought about brushing becoming a vector.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not judging…but have you talked to your doctor about your newfound promiscuity?

A sudden change of a core behavior like this is concerning unless you’re like currently going through puberty. In which case it’s concerning for an entirely separate set of circumstances.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

OP probably is on a manic bipolar episode. :P

But yeah, a good GP can also answer sex safety questions.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Maybe so, but sudden changes in behavior can be a very concerning symptom. Op seemed pretty blasé about it, but still well aware of the basics and that they need to exercise more caution…as if they were a virgin (or close to it) and recently became so promiscuous.

If that’s the case, then that’s a pretty drastic personality shift. Even if they are diagnosed bipolar, their mania manifesting an insatiable sexual appetite sounds like a concerning new symptom.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

Unpopular take, but reddit r/BDSMadvice probably has a ton of information on this built up over the years

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

In my experience Internet kinksters LOVE talking about their hobbies. I would be surprised if you couldn’t just google “KINK safety” or “hygiene” and not get relevant hits.

Also, I know that for several types of behavior the recommended course of action is to find a doctor you trust and going “hi. I’m going to have unprotected sex with multiple partners.” And taking whatever pills and injections she says you should take.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I might be wrong and hopefully someone can point you to a good educational resource such as what you are looking for.

All I can say is, because of the close contact and fluid transfers ( saliva, urine, feces, touching another person etc) you don't just need to be wary of STDs, but of most contagious diseases and bacteria, which are way too many to list. Especially if you engage in scat/piss and are in contact with other people's blood.

Sure, this applies to anyone really, even people with a single partner. My point is, the more lottery tickets you buy, the more chances to win the lottery.

Having a relationship with few people you know relatively well decreases your risk of transmission not just by numbers, but because they will be more likely to disclose if they have something if they know it. Random hookups may not be this considerate always. I'd be really curious to see material addressing contagious diseases and prevention specifically for promiscuous people, I wonder how it would differ from information addressed to a general audience.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

100%

But each practice involves different levels of risk. Kissing random strangers has a different level of risk from having anal sex with them, and a different level of risk from having oral sex, piss play, etc. Some stuff seems obvious, other stuff isn't as intuitive. And for people who engage in risk behavior, knowing how risky it is makes all the difference in the world. Knowing that having anal sex with an escorts is way riskier than having vaginal sex with her makes all the difference in the world.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Absolutely but wouldn't that be already covered in regular sex ed topics? I don't see much of a difference in education requirements for promiscuous people vs not so promiscuous ones, other than keeping in mind the lottery analogy.

Edit: I'm not trying be dense here, I think it's a bit confusing to ask for sex ed for promiscuous people when what you are looking for instead is just sex ed for a wide variety of niche practices.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe not 100% what you're looking for, but Pornhub has sex ed videos and a sex wellness center. For fetishplay, you probably need to ask the communities for resources.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It's been a long time since I've looked into their stuff, so this might be dated advice, but there's also sex educators like Dr. Ruth Westheimer and Dan Savage.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

We can't say hookers anymore?

[–] FilthyHookerSpit 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Right?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

In General we don’t.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I don't think there is any "government approved" educational material about the kind of activities you partake in. Look up something like "advanced bdsm guide" on Google and absorb as much information as possible. This kind of information is shared from experience only.

[–] boatsnhos931 4 points 9 months ago

No you don't man..go lay down somewhere

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Lol, I'm the exact opposite of you - never had sex even once. So what's your secret? Don't tell me you're attractive?

[–] flubba86 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I'm the least attractive guy you'll ever meet, I have zero self confidence, big social anxiety, and mild ASD. I have the personality of a disgruntled cat. Somehow even I have managed to not only have sexual partners, but also now I'm married and have two kids. This is not meant to be bragging at you, putting you down or rubbing it in. I am saying don't dispair, it can happen, and it does happen, and there is no secret, it's got nothing to do with being attractive.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You're never as ugly as you think you are. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[–] flubba86 4 points 9 months ago

Well, my mum says I'm handsome, does that count?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

You don't have to be that attractive. While attraction does matter and does help, personality plays a huge, huge role. I'm bi and find most people to be physically attractive in their own way, but only a small minority of people have attractive personalities.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

You may also want to check the sexual-asexual realm of possibilities. Watching sex, wanting to have sex, pursuing the act of sex and actually having it are very different things that may or may not be your cup of tea.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

There a ton of different ways to get laid. And depending on what your looking for, there are different requirements.

Most commonly people who don't get laid are looking for some level of intimacy with someone that actually finds them attractive. Which means that hookers are not an option.

Commonly people in this category have two issues (I'm probably projecting :P, but I don't have much to work on):

Standards too high. Just like poor people try to become billionaires. Sexless people wish for a harem of super models. Practice flirting with less attractive women until you learn to connect with women on a deeper level which will make lowering your standards to reasonable levels easier.
You're unattractive. A bit similarly to #1, influencers and your own expectations for a partner are warping your perception of how attractive you need to be. Seeing as the level of attractiveness you wish you had is completely unattainable, you give up or you look for ineffective shortcuts.
Don't worry so much, work on the basics: good hygiene, not terrible clothes, some level of social competence, a minimal amount of confidence. The minimum requirements are far lower than what you'd expect or what most people would think.

(Note being financially stable also helps in terms of minimum requirements for attractiveness, but it's not like you need the incentive of getting laid to want to be financially stable).

Keep working on both #1 and #2 and eventually they meet and you get laid and have a good time!

I'll sneak in a third point here. If you're a man, your relative attractiveness automatically goes up until your 40s vs women of the same age. But the change is most noticeable when you hit your early 30s. So, worst case scenario, after a few years, the odds shift in your favor.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I honestly think it has a lot more to do with projected confidence (not to be confused with arrogance) than any amount of attractiveness or financial stability.

Like, it's easier to get someone else to want to be with you, if they see that you're confident and comfortable with yourself first.