this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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Baldur's Gate 3

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Baldur’s Gate 3 is a story-rich, party-based RPG set in the universe of Dungeons & Dragons, where your choices shape a tale of fellowship and betrayal, survival and sacrifice, and the lure of absolute power. (Website)

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I was a bit taken aback when almost every character in my camp was quick to jump my bones very early on, this explains it.

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[–] [email protected] 69 points 1 year ago (2 children)

can they release a bugfix for real life too?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I've always wanted to fuck a bear
*Hexbear, watch out

[–] Fosheze 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh my god. I literally just made that connection. The druid guy is a bear in EVERY aspect.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Halsin is a muscle-bear, which is a bear, but not the default bear.

I don't think bg3 had the right body types for traditional bear

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The green lizard lady hitting on me was a bit much. Meanwhile the cute cleric girl is a little too into her little goddess to talk to me.

[–] Transcendant 37 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Different strokes for different folks, I let her have her brutal wicked way with me.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She commanded me and I obeyed. It was pretty fucking hot.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

My dude is a Drow so we're into that 👀👀

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Its like highschool all over again

[–] Transcendant 17 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Which part, the green lizard lady or the cute cleric girl? I mean, I know Australia has some gnarly wildlife but didn't think it was part of the dating pool

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Just like irl tbh

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago

Somewhere at Larian code review: "Whaddya mean hot_for_anal doesn't control the horizon of threshold for analysis. What else could it... Oh. Ooooh..."

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago

I can't unlock the Withers romance arch no matter how hard I don't try.

[–] notExactlyI20 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Yeah I had to turn down wyll, and it made me super sad because I didn't like him like that. He's a good friend but I really wish I could say, "I'd die for you, but because you are my good friend, I don't like you like that." Same with Gale. Halsin or Lae'zel are the ones I'm lookin for.

Edit: Oops, not supposed to be a reply, sorry friend.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Spoilers ahead, be warned!

The strangest thing by far for me was whenever I went to sleep and this shirtless mindflayer tried to bang me. What the actual fuck was that? I have 0 indication that I was even into you.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I went for the tentacle sex on my evil character (just finished first run!). Totally did not expect what happened to happen but just rolled with it haha.

[–] IamLost 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's how I would discribe losing my virginity. Minus the tentacle sex part.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

and yet Scratch has never once propositioned me

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

He's a good boy, not a naughty one.

onthullingHowever if you find the jar of peanut butter in Moonrise tower kitchen... nope this feels wrong, sorry all

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

A tadpole, if you will

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I always wondered why Lae'zel wanted to bang, and we never talked much before the Grove. I'm a Shadowheart simp, though, so I turned down the Battle-sex.

[–] AEsheron 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

My Vengeance Paladin was down for some nightly cardio. Dumped her ass the minute I met Karlach though, Karlach is best girl, 100%

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[–] JimmyMcGill 18 points 1 year ago (4 children)

And here I am, still trying to get my first smooch from the fiery teddy bear that is karlach.

[–] Piecemakers3Dprints 6 points 1 year ago

It's worth it.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

I experienced the wonky romance implementation both ways. Some, like Lae'zel and (especially) Halsin went from 0-100 in the blink of an eye, which was very annoying.

However, I also got permanently friendzoned by Karlach, Wyll and Astarion because I didn't take enough Long Rests in Act 1, so important character moments with those three never happened for me. I've heard Wyll invites you to dance, but I never got that, nor the night time creeping from Astarion. These moments seem to be required, because I've been locked out of all relationship progression with those three characters. I'm at the end of Act 3 now and they've not had much to say since the start of Act 2 . Hopefully this has or will be fixed, though.

EDIT: clearer wording.

[–] OneOrTheOtherDontAskMe 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is THAT why both laezel and karlach were like "it fizzled" and why my boy wyll won't pound my demon receptacle? Because that's a little upsetting

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[–] assassin_aragorn 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Lae'zel was just like,

"You smell like battle. I can smell the blood and sweat all over you. I saw you massacre those goblin children and tear their heads off. I want you to fuck me here and now."

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

60 hours from now, just before the final battle

Oh you sweet summer child..

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bug? Or undocumented feature?

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[–] dustyData 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Will they release a classic speedrun version for the sex% scene?

[–] paddirn 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Gale and Wyll seemed to be the two that didn’t try to jump my bones right out of the gate, I just seemed to pick the non-saucy options for them I guess. Everyone else is a super-slut and nobody seems to care that I’m hitting on everyone else.

[–] TheRobotFrog 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Funny, those are the two I had to hold back with a broom.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same here! The look on Wyll's face when I politely turned him down gave RL me 3 points of psychic damage..

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[–] peopleproblems 14 points 1 year ago

I do gotta say, this game has made me understand the "role" playing aspect.

I don't think I've ever done anything beside "good" and "bad".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This must have been the only bug I didn't have. Only Lae'zel and Minthara were super thirsty without having to do anything but play the game (and even then it kinda fit the character for both considering what triggers the encounter). Wyll's also kinda happened but that one you did have to want it pretty bad to get it, even if it was easy. Otherwise it's just an awkward moment when you catch him dancing.

Everyone else? It's like nobody wanna ride the dragon dick. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

In my case that moment was made somewhat more awkward by a bug causing his camp clothes to disappear so that he was just dancing around naked 😳 😂

On the plus side, it made me laugh out loud when Wyll suddenly appeared naked and doing a somewhat goofy walk in the background while one of the other characters was telling me something serious 😅

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The only one who has flirted like crazy with me was Astarion. Maybe he's really into bright orange dragonborn.

[–] CrunchyBoy 16 points 1 year ago

Me too, I just thought that was his personality. I mean, it fits.

[–] average650 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I never even got him in my party.... why would I trust a guy who tries to jump me first chance he got?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Aw you are missing out, he's the most fun character IMO and his VA absolutely kills it.

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[–] asunaspersonalasst 10 points 1 year ago

Gamers be liek: "It's not a bug, it's a cool feature!"

[–] Transcendant 10 points 1 year ago

It's good to know I wasn't imagining things, I made a comment just after release saying I was over seemingly every character trying to fuck

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