ZUG ZUG
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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TURIANS BASED ON DEXTRO-AMINO ACIDS. HUMAN INGESTION OF TISSUE COULD PROVOKE ALLERGIC REACTIONS. ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK POSSIBLE. SO DON'T, AH, INGEST.
28 STAB WOUNDS
THE RIGHT MAN IN THE WRONG PLACE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
- GMan, Half-Life 2
- Michael Scott
- BigMoe
"THIS CAVE IS NOT A NATURAL FORMATION"
SOMEONE BUILT THIS, SO IT MUST LEAD SOMEWHERE
WHETHER WE WANTED IT OR NOT, WE'VE STEPPED INTO A WAR WITH THE CABAL ON MARS. SO LET'S GET TO TAKING OUT THEIR COMMAND, ONE BY ONE. VALUS TA'AURC. FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER HE COMMANDS THE SIEGE DANCERS FROM AN IMPERIAL LAND TANK OUTSIDE OF RUBICON. HE'S WELL PROTECTED, BUT WITH THE RIGHT TEAM, WE CAN PUNCH THROUGH THOSE DEFENSES, TAKE THIS BEAST OUT, AND BREAK THEIR GRIP ON FREEHOLD.
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YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH!
LISTEN, STRANGE WOMEN LYING IN PONDS DISTRIBUTING SWORDS IS NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT ... YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO WIELD SUPREME POWER JUST 'CAUSE SOME WATERY TART THREW A SWORD AT YOU!
or
YOU CAN'T GO AROUND ARRESTING THE THIEVES' GUILD. I MEAN, WE'D BE AT IT ALL DAY!
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BIG DEAL, I CAN USE INNUENDO TOO. TONIGHT'S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER...BLOWJOBS!
A MAN CHOOSES, A SLAVE OBEYS
I LIKE SHORTS. THEY'RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE IMPERIAL CITY
WELCOME
TO THE ARENA
"LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY."
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WAR, WAR NEVER CHANGES.
WE'RE WATCHING YOU. SCUM.
RED WARRIOR IS NOW IT
GREEN VALKYRIE NEEDS FOOD BADLY
WE ARE ALL PAWNS, CONTROLLED BY SOMETHING GREATER: MEMES, THE DNA OF THE SOUL. THEY SHAPE OUR WILL. THEY ARE THE CULTURE. THEY ARE EVERYTHING WE PASS ON.
UNITS RECEIVED
WHY ARE THESE FOOLS STILL BREATHING MY AIR?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
WHAT A SAVE!
POWER OVERWHELMING
STAND IN THE ASHES OF A TRILLION SOULS AND ASK THE GHOSTS IF HONOUR MATTERS.
THEIR SILENCE IS YOUR ANSWER.
HYAAA