A place for those that got both Autism and ADHD, those confirmed as one and are suspecting they got the other as well, and also everyone who is neither and just genuinely curious.
Since the combo comes with its own set of challenges, this shall be a place to ask for advice, vent, infodump about special interests and/or just vibe and meme.
Please be respectful. General niceness guidelines apply - formal rules will be added later if necessary.
In regards to medication and medical advice: Please take under consideration that this is only an online support community. Offered advice is always an expression of individual opinions or experiences and shall never be taken as substitute for a professional in-person assessment!
This is a SFW community. Sensitive topics are allowed, but must be properly labeled.
On lemmy.world
This isn't even disordered behavior. It's a cultural shift in the way we communicate.
Everything is designed to be on your time, why would I waste a precious second of it on a phone call? Better to arrange a meeting via passive communication such as email or text.
I'd say it's a disordered behavior for me, since my life gets fucked up by me not being able to call people. Sometimes emails and texts are just fine, but sometimes you need to call for something. And if I can't actually call someone when a call is a necessity, and things get fucked up because of it, I'd call that disordered :/
For the absolute majority of communication, calling goes waaay faster. The main upside with writing is that "you have it on paper". Most of my phone calls are very short and to the point at least.
I can't overstate how useful "you have it on paper" is.
Nah, it certainly is for some people. I've been avoiding phonecalls for as long as I've been old enough to make them and texting was very uncommon cause while phones existed most people in my life had flip phones.
That’s true but there’s some erasure here; for example I have always been an anxious person and thus I will do everything possible to avoid calling on the phone.
It’s not just about “this is how it is now”, which… it isn’t anyway, many many many people and businesses fully rely on phone calls. Yes it is absolutely easier and faster to text than to call I completely agree, it’s just not entirely about time.
I’d further say that this meme is also not about time and ease but social pressures (hence the title, “nonverbal communication” and the persons clear uncomfortableness with just the thought of committing to a phone conversation
easier and faster to text than to call
This is an interesting perspective to me. I use text/email if it's not time sensitive, or a call if I need to communicate quickly or what I'm trying to communicate is complicated, because I absolutely can speak faster than I can type on my phone.
Sometimes I split the difference and walk to my computer so I can use a keyboard if it's a lot to type, but also not time sensitive.
Emails and texts are the superior way of communication. I can't remember what they just said once the call is over!!
Or prove.
C.Y.A.!
Wait, that's not normal behaviour?
I just don't want to deal with another human in real time. What if I don't know what to say? I feel like I'm playing Phoenix Wright online.
I this a phone calls thing, or just a talking to people at all thing? Like, is it difficult to have a conversation with someone at dinner, for example?
For me it is phone calls specifically, that are more stressful than any other type of communication.
Face to face with a stranger isn't exactly easy, either, but I would prefer that even over leaving a voicemail.
I wonder if it's just because it feels less natural, and therefore forced, as if you're having to perform.
When I was young, I had a lot of anxiety over calling things like businesses, doctors offices, places where people had an official role. It felt intimidating. What eventually got me past that was remembering that though these people are in an official capacity, they're also people who can joke and make mistakes and ramble and get confused, just like me. Once I stopped seeing them as their capacity, that feeling kinda went away.
I think it is related to auditory processing issues. (sponsored by ADHD) Video-calls, Zoom etc... are not as bad. I guess, because I do rely on gestures a lot? Also, they're usually scheduled in advance - So I can prep by getting comfy in a quiet place and take notes with both hands on the keyboard.
That actually makes a lot of sense to me. Such a large portion of how we communicate is in our body language, I can see how stripping that out would leave someone scrambling a bit in that situation. Thanks for sharing!
It is for us.
phone calls to people outside of my immediate family literally trigger my fight or flight response
incoming calls do that to me no matter who.
-gasp-
I’ve found my community!
I was busy and responded to an email enquiry where I was getting two word answers like I'm her mate and we texting. I asked, are you available for a phonecall and they responded, can you phone on Wednesday (this was on Monday) and speak to my partner instead.
...
That's just flat out rude. Jeez.
Sometimes I wish my phone didn't do phone calls at all. The amount of prep that goes into me having to make a phone call is greatly disproportionate to what it would take for me to email or text that same thing.
And to get a phone call, unless I know 100% what you want and/or it's my immediate family is going straight to voicemail, that I will agonize over when to deal with it. ☹️
I always do this but then they just call me (at the most inopportune moment too) instead of answering with text/email... We can't win in the world of neurotypical extraverts.
Don't let them try to convince you that they're the typical ones.