I think you may be missing, er... half the machine. Did you find this in a dung heap?
The Internet in Ancient Times
Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.
This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.
CODE OF LAWS
1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.
2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.
3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.
4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.
5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.
6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.
Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.
I don't, no, sorry.
Maybe try asking in [email protected] ? The people there are not like us, but they are (probably) not to be feared.
Thank you kindly I will offer a morsel at the altar of Persephone to wish you a good harvest.
My neighbor has one that I covet, but getting one for myself is out of my price range as long as the blight continues to take one-fifth of my crops, and the priests another one-fifth as payment for their anti-blight sacrifices (which so far have yielded no result).
See this is the problem. All of this machinery is supposed to make us freer, with more time to tend to our crops. But then you end up in places like this trying to figure out if what you are reading is the lunar calendar or the solar one, and if it is gregorian or babylonian and what not. I don't feel much freer than when I hunted birds and gutted them for answers. Now I am stuck in my living quarters rewinding the gears over and over with madmen online telling me All Hoplites Are Bastards (they are not, in fact I know no hoplite born out of wedlock). Maybe you should join another cult to deal with the priests from the first one? I hear Dionysian Mysteries are all the rage these days.
Based on the discoloration I'd reckon material fatigue. Was the copper it's made of of really shitty quality?
Ah, Ea-Nasir you errant dog. Curses on your family! May you fade into obscurity! May your name not be remembered!
Have you tried installing Linux on it?
What the fuck is a Linux? Is it one of those Non-Dogmatic Open Schematic Hardware cause I am a firm beleiver in the rule of law and won't abide by that classless nonsense. Soon you will tell me my slaves can build their own, and then they end up learning and see how well that went with Spartacus for the Romans.
Have you tried turning it off and leaving it at the bottom of the sea for 2000 years?
That's a brilliant idea. I think even better I leave it in a spot I will remember, like a shipwreck.
!remindme 2000 years
Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
How do I do that?
My friend Stephanous Jobous claims his apple can do this, but he seems deluded.
How can an apple tell me when the next solstice is? Do I take the pips out and do something with them or do apples have some previously unknown psycotropic effects maybe? Tell that Stephanous that he should stop inhaling the volcanic vapors of Delphi because it sounds like his wheel has got a pin loose.
I have often advised my patients to consume crushed, dried and powdered pips of 200 apples. It seems to work for a large variety of illnesses from bad humors to war wounds. I haven't had even one patient return with complaints.
Sounds interesting.. My watchdog has been limping lately so I will attemt thid concocture and see if it recoups his spirits..
Have you tried removing the crank and putting it back in again?
Nanni sells bad copper, never pay him in advance! The auguries didn't help me avoid this man.
Sorry, you voided your warranty by dunking it in water.
Clearly, you got a faulty piece, just return it and ask for your money back.