this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2025
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/18212134

My kids bored out of their minds with a house full of toys, don't know how good they got it

Lil Nabû-zēr-kitti-lišir woulda killed for better toys

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[–] Tattorack 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a toy car before cars were a thing.

[–] TheGiantKorean 4 points 2 days ago

I was gonna say, it looks so much like a car. Like a race car, even.

[–] FlyingSquid 22 points 2 days ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How the hell did they manage to get their hands on my very first pinewood derby car?

[–] FlyingSquid 1 points 2 days ago

I wish my Pinewood Derby car looked that good.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Who fucking wrote that description, a middle-schooler?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It sounds AI generated. The last sentence is very telltale chatgpt speak.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ey, yo, killer username. MECFS research is ridiculously under funded.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 day ago

Hahha cheers!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 days ago

Hot wheels; Made in Mesopotamia

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

I want to see the racetrack that came in the same box.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Kids often make vrooming noises when they push toy cars around now. What noises did Mesopotanian kids make when playing with this?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I was going to say "chariot noises" but it looks like the oldest are from ~1950 BC, in Russia of all places?

My opinion on pyramid building Egyptian pharaohs is ruined and will never be remade.

Broke bitches didn't even have chariots because "no one has invented them yet.'

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think you might be right about chariot noises actually. The Encyclopedia Britannica suggests that chariots, including four wheeled versions, were first invented in Mesopotania around 3000BC, which would tie in nicely with the estimated age of the toy. It'd be like having a model of the latest and greatest supercar, or possibly tank.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

That's interesting. Wikipedia claimed the oldest examples were Russian... I wonder what that bias there was!

[–] gmtom 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Shouldn't Turkiye return this to the country it originated from or does that discourse only apply to the British?

[–] FlyingSquid 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

May I make a humble request to not honor Erdogan's absurd requirement that everyone call his country the name he wants it to be called, what with him being a fascist piece of shit?

Atatürk was fine with it being called Turkey by the West despite literally winning independence from European occupiers and founding the modern nation.

That should tell you all you need to know.

[–] kSPvhmTOlwvMd7Y7E 2 points 1 day ago

Turkey is Turkey 🦃!!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

mesopotamia is a region which contains a part of turkiye.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Further, traveling artifact exhibits are a thing, not that OP would ever learn that in person.