Mental Health

Focused-attention meditation can help with OCD.

Mostly you want to go to a mental health professional though.

Having been in a similar place around the same age, the things that helped me were: confiding in friends if you can, a therapist, finding the right medicine, and working on making things better one small, manageable step at a time.

Regarding medicine I know there are lots of stereotypes about what taking medicine to help with mental health issues is like, but I urge you not to write it off nor to give up if one medication doesn't work for you. It's a process, and one you need to work with a doctor with to find the right fit for you. Also, medicine won't magically fix everything on its own, it's just a little bit of help on the road to finding a complete solution.

Ultimately there are lots of good recommendations here. What works for you is going to be unique, and it's something you'll have the best luck with if you get some help.

The good news is you're already on your way to making a change in yourself. You're aware of what's happening and how it's affecting you, and you want to change. The next step is to make a plan, and then comes implementing that plan. There unfortunately isn't going to be a switch you can flip to change overnight, it's going to take time and effort, but you can absolutely do it.

I'm going to speak from my experience, because I used to have really bad anxiety and anger, both of which caused me problems, but they're all but gone now. I also likely have ADHD, though undiagnosed.

I cannot overstate how impactful mindfulness meditation has been on my life. Did you know you can actually tell your brain what to focus on rather than your brain deciding for you automatically? I sure as hell did not know that was a thing. I just happened to stumble into a meditation group that met weekly.

At first, I have to say I was scornful of the experience. While I was there, my internal dialogue went "this is stupid," "can they hear me breathing too loud?," "that sound outside the room is annoying," etc. etc. Over time, with much practice, I realized I learned to recognize each of those thoughts when they were happening, and then was able to let the thought go and refocus my attention to whatever we were doing.

Sometimes it was a guided meditation, sometimes chanting or breathwork, sometimes silence, sometimes chakras. At all points, I found my mind wandering or judging, because that's what minds do. I noticed that, let it go, then refocused my attention on the meditation. That act of noticing, letting go, and refocusing is literally exercising your attention. It's like lifting weights in your brain. I did this for several years weekly and came out a happier, more content person on the other end.

Meditation is something you can practice alone in your room, but you're going to get more benefit from doing it with others. Take a look around to see if there are any meet ups in your area, or even see if you can find a virtual meditation group.

Lastly, not everyone is going to be able to make change on their own. Some may need a bit of help, which is great because there are some great therapists out there. DBT, RODBT, and CBT all might be useful for you. If you're interested, maybe look into group therapy or intensive outpatient programs near you. Of note, mindfulness skills are one of the 4 core tenants of DBT, so you just can't escape mindfulness.

Good luck my friend, don't hesitate to reach out!

I have this as well, although maybe not as badly. It comes in goes in waves and depends a lot on my current self perception. But there is also this general anxiety thinking, that clings on to every possible way something could turn out wrong. It's exhausting, but it did get better over the years. I have also learned to live with it, when it's bad.

The first thing I want to recommend is therapy. That helped me a lot. Hearing a professionals perspective on my negative inner dialog, helped me view it with a little more distance. I see now that it's my brain trying to help me, trying to protect me from bad experiences, based on past traumas. Unfortunately this self protection mechanism often goes wild and hurts me in the process.

To get a grip on it all, I like to imagine my brain as a sand hill and my thoughts as marbles that are dropped on the top and then roll downwards, leaving channels in the sand. The more marbles run along a similar path the more likely the next marbles will follow them. That makes it so hard to change your thoughts, because you have to actively fight against your neuronal pathways that have been established by years and and years of this thinking. In the beginning this thinking was probably very useful. That's why the channel grew so deep, but now it is too deep channeling too many thoughts that way. So, when I realize my thoughts keep running down the same track, I stop them and force them towards a different outcome: What if all went well? What if it's all a misunderstanding? What if it happens, but it's actually not bad at all? I consciously think of various ways that contradict my negative thought patterns. It is a lot of effort, but honestly, thinking of all the worst outcomes is as well.

I have a couple of mantras, I like to remind myself of ideally every day, to program them into my mind:

• The best thing I can do is just be myself (I noticed the more I overthink something, the worse it gets. Often the best thing is just to be my honest self instead of playing 4D-chess with myself to play around every possible way something could go wrong)
• Be Authentic - Surrender the Outcome - Do the Work (You can only control yourself, you have no control over the outcome. So do your best and then let go)
• Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, nothing is perfect

I also feel like meditating and reading or listening to Alan Watts and Ram Dass helped me get a different perspective on life. Instead of holding myself to my own impossible standards and then be disappointed with myself, I realized that we're actually not that important and there is no ideal or right way to live. Life isn't there to be perfected. It's to be lived and enjoyed! In Ram Dass' words: "You can do it like it's a great weight on you, or you can do it like a dance."

Regarding mistakes: It's alright to make mistakes. They are actually an essential part of life! There is no getting around them! It's kind of a framing issue. A mistake is just something you learned how to do better after doing it. But we got told to feel bad about them often enough that we took it to heart. We are often way too hard on ourselves! Way harder than we would be with anyone else. Sometimes it helps to step back and talk to yourself as if you were your friend. And why wouldn't you want to be a good friend to yourself? In the end we're all just kids in the inside that want to be valued and loved. A part of my therapy was to talk to my inner child, tell him that he is loved and safe.

I've also heard it helps to give your negative inner voice a name, like Steve. Steve wants to do everything right and is afraid of everything. He can be a real drag, but he just wants to help. Tell your Steve to shut the fuck up and relax a little.

My dad gave me "this too shall pass", and my brother taught me to be less fearful... I wish I could share them both with everyone.

Really and truely everything passes... Good and bad. But it's only when it's bad that you really need it. We all know this but just need to remember it.

And then not being afraid...I think we need to consider the worst - for a moment, but also only give it a brief consideration. Then we need to weigh the positives and maybe think on those a little longer. It sounds dumb but I hope you're hearing me.

Also can I say, don't be obsessed with labels for yourself. You're a unique person unlike any other, so no label like OCD or ADHD captures all that is you. Forget the labels.

Ask yourself, Will this matter tomorrow, next week, next month or next year? Depending on the answer, consider how much effort to put in.

Fighting obsessive thoughts makes them stronger. Seeing a therapist that specializes in ocd is what helped me.

CBT, DBT,... DMT