If I am going to need to run, or even take stairs briskly, I need a bra. Or it's going to sting.
this post was submitted on 24 Jan 2025
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I take off mine the moment I step through the door after work. Necessary for outings and exercise yes, but still wouldn't say I "like" wearing them.
My sister likes wearing them (not an assumption on my part; she has expressed liking bras a lot), but I can imagine that it's more freeing, as a trans person, to do so than not doing so.
Yeah, i got over it after a year or two personally though
I don't specifically remember that episode of the late, great, Late Show with Craig Ferguson, but EVERY SINGLE APPEARANCE of the people's princess was magical.
They played off each other so masterfully and both were just their honest selves.
She gave him a set of novelty dried kangaroo testicles on one visit that he regifted to a woman explorer with MS who was going to North Pole.
Craig was, and still is, the master of 1 on 1 interviews.
Conan comes close in his podcast, but doesn’t quite reach the same level
Most late shows the start of the interview meant bedtime.
For Craig, it was usually the highlight of the show.
Conan's podcast is fantastic in that regard. I never watched his show much for a variety of reasons, but I can't get enough of his podcast.
Craig's podcast is nearly the same level as his talk show, but it's really dependent upon the guest. Diedrich Bader was quite entertaining.
They kinda swapped roles on the podcast circuit 😀
Craig is going for deep conversations and Conan is completely off the hook.
I get the point, at the same time that ain't just any man,, that's Craig Ferguson and he's amazing too. Not saying he can't make mistakes, but he's an absolute legend in late night.
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is there a fediverse version of /r/abrathatfits ?
There are not enough women in the fediverse to maintain femme-centric communities.
Most of the ones I used to be subscribed to shut down due to being abandoned/unmodded. And they turned out that way because of harassment.
It's a huge issue that no one will address. Mostly because they will be harassed.
It sucks.
There are not enough women in the fediverse to maintain femme-centric communities.
Or maybe they rather mask a man / gender neutral. Internet is not a friendly place to have girl oriented conversations. I made the mistake to be open about my gender with this account and the odacity of people is astonishing.
That's what I mean.
And it should not be this way.
The fediverse vehemently defends & will happily accommodate trans folk. That's fantastic! But they'll be openly hostile to cis women?
It's baffling.
Makes me think that Lemmy is not actually as progressive as they are always claiming to be.
I'm a dude. Can I help?
Yes. Always.
The easiest way is to shut down blatent sexism you see around in posts and comments. I wouldn't even be aggressive about it. Just a "hey, that's not cool" and downvote.
Problem is, a lot of folks are "jokingly" sexist, while also only kinda joking? Either way, I think there's a line, but it's going to be different for everyone, and I'm definitely not sure that I'm the one who gets to draw it. But when women are seeing openly gross posts about women, it is very off-putting and will cause them to shun a community.
Thanks. That makes total sense. I'm pretty grossed out by most tropes so my tolerance for what's "just joking" is minimal. I believe I do what you suggest IRL. My 8 yr old son does too. There's a great Ted talk called feminism is a man's problem or something that reshaped my perspective many years ago - we have to use our privileges to upstand bc only haves can give power, have nots can't just manifest it. In any hierarchical dichotomy. I try to make space in work meetings and help people feel comfortable speaking and telling those with the privilege to be comfortable to stfu sometimes. I think the difficult part for some men (I know how those words sound together!) is reconciling wanting to help but not knowing how to ask whether it's welcome and they fear it'll be construed as offensive. Perhaps bc society allows boys will be boys, and they're never taught how to communicate boundaries.
Thank you for making space in meetings. Thank you for all of it, but especially that.
It's difficult to have faith in your own voice when it's consistently drowned out - especially in those subtle ways it happens in meetings.
Early in my career, I worked with a man who would consistently refer back to a woman who had been interrupted. He always made it seem organic and I don't think most of the men even realized it was happening. But the women noticed the pattern. I know I'm not the only woman who learned to be more comfortable advocating for myself, thanks to him.
Thanks for this. And for doing your best for us. And for helping keep your son out of that group.
I'll add that, as much as it sucks, there seems to be this thing where the kind of men who love attacking women, when confronted with a man saying to stop, will (in person, online it still happens but less so) completely back down. I think it's because (and I could be completely wrong but this is my theory) most of them are cowards.
Bullies love to attack those they believe are weak. Most of your run-of-the-mill sexist assholes believe all women are weaker than men.
It's such a shame because so many of the things that harm men are things that women's rights people also want to help with.
You don't have am answer, so I'll tell you what I've been told; that all we can do is put ourselves in front of the harassment. If it starts happening, call them out. Yeah, you might catch some shit for it, but it's not something that normally happens to you or me most likely.
For example, I frequently play a game called Squad. It's a light mil-Sim, and as you can imagine there are a lot of very annoying misogynistic men. If a woman speaks and people start being annoying, I'll try to step in and take the heat instead. It's not a great solution, but the goal is to not let them think everyone is accepting of it, and maybe let the woman (or other higher pitched voice person) just play the game. I'd rather be the target for once instead of the same people always being the target.
Sadly, some men need to hear it from other men that they need to treat women as just people, not as a different thing.
I don't think women would want you running their women's community though. That's something they need to do on their own probably.
Wow, I had no idea it was like that here, that's terrible :(
Yeah.. it really is.
That, unfortunately, is why I will never suggest Lemmy to people and why it will never be a viable option for most. Maybe that will change when the absolute batshit hostility stops, but considering all the communities lost.. nah.
That's horrible.
I want to say we should start our own instance for feminists and kick anyone that acts like that. But I'm not sure what that would even look like or if it would gain traction.
I mean, it would probably look kinda similar to blahaj.zone. With a dedicated admin team, I could see it working.
My instance is welcoming to feminists. You’re welcome to create a community on the topic. I will not hesitate to kick out the jerks.
I think it may be worth a shot to retry. There are trans and furry communities (which are smaller and similarly harassed populations) that seem to be thriving just fine. It's just important to consider what instance they are formed on. Something like blahaj.zone?
The issue is that women should be free to discuss women's issues without being harassed. And sometimes those issues include men. That's when the harassment starts.
Hell, there was an article posted when I first joined about women-only taxi services and I went in to comment my excitement and support! Only to be greeted with some of the most vile comments and insincere, shitty discussion I'd seen in a loooong time.
I'm not ""tough"" enough to moderate my own community that would inevitably put both it & myself as a target of harassment. Not going to risk putting myself through that. I'm stressed enough as it is.
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If I may:
- pick a small instance (mine fits the bill) or host your own (a bit of sysadmin skills required)
- start a local-only community
- spread the word
While growing up, it can always be opened up for test runs to see if moderation efforts are justified to keep it open permanently.
Main downside: all users members have to be on the same lemmy instance, at least in the beginning.
There's also a potential problem of my instance not fitting because of I myself am a man.
I'm a man and I would have been curious to hear the audience response, but my job isn't hosting a talk show. I wouldn't be surprised if Oprah jumped in.
Legit wouldn't be surprised if he saw the obvious answer coming and thought he'd give her a chance to make it funnier and more memorable
I've been called nasty shit for setting up friends for similar joke enhancements by people not familiar with us, I bet pros do it too
Absolutely - I'm not familiar with this host but Dave Letterman used to butt in all the time. Sometimes he made ridiculous objections and challenges, to create opportunities for bouncing back and forth. When guests got that (Teri Garr, for example) it was always fun to watch them interact. Some others (like Cher) who didn't get it just thought he was an asshole.
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