this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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Programmer Humor

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Learn to code (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 15 hours ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I must have learned programming wrong, then, because dear ducking god, the amount of incompetent shit I have to see is surreal.

One system we've got from a different state was marketed as having geolocation. It doesn't. All object relations have to be created manually in a separate page, as in, you register a city, then register an address, THEN, on a different page, you connect the two. Now imagine this for some 24 objects. It has some specific profile permissions hard coded by id (like, only profile with id 4 can create some stuff)

This is just the shit I remember off the top of my head. The cherry on top is that they didn't validate unique emails for users, you could have 999 users with the same email and no way for them to reset their passwords. I asked why: "we didn't think about it"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 hours ago

I asked why: "we didn't think about it"

I have Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz ringing in my ears: "IT'S YOUR JOB!"

[–] Thcdenton 2 points 1 hour ago

I code and i ruthlessly bash devs

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 hours ago

You won't have time after spending all day complaining about bad documentation.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

I seem to complain more, actually.

[–] asdfasdfasdf 5 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

Seriously, every time I see null interpolated in a receipt or email I always think "you fucking donkeys".

[–] x00z 1 points 39 minutes ago 
Dear {{ user.first_name }},

We would like to personally thank you for registering at {{ brand.name }}!

Regards,
{{ employee.name }}
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Like, it printing out "Null"?

[–] asdfasdfasdf 1 points 1 hour ago

Yeah

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 hours ago

It's a bell curve.

[–] Ktangleknot 34 points 8 hours ago

Nah, I complain more about things. Especially ones that should work. “Oh you didn’t test this in my preferred browser and now it only works in Chrome, idiot”. I can see the error and I know why the shortcut was taken or the test that would have caught it was skipped and it pisses me off.

Sometimes it’s deadlines and outside forces and not laziness, and for those the coder is forgiven. And sometimes the bug is hilarious and not frustrating. But if you have an e-commerce site, basic utility, healthcare portal, or other required site that is broken because you couldn’t be arsed to test with something other chrome on a desktop monitor then fuck right off.

[–] mlg 40 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

[–] Metju 9 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Tbh, while it is funny out-of-context, I encountered the same exact thing (and I can guaran-fuckin-tee the offender used copilot for this).

It's not funny to be on the receiving end of this, ESPECIALLY in professional environment, where you should not react like that 😅

[–] asdfasdfasdf 1 points 3 hours ago

I agree, but would like to add I find AI generated code without thought or care put into understanding it more offensive than this to begin with.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

I start to appreciate games that implement complex and sometimes rarely noticeable (immersive, boo) mechanics that come off naturally. And I notice how a thought pattern behind bad ones could've progressed.

Bugs? My favs are buggy to the point some of these bugs became their own mechanics. I only get annoyed when the game bores me out, and if bugs can't make me feel like it, it's fine. And some better-done games are pretty boring to me.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Put four pots over the squares over the ground.

Shoot the dragon head statues, the pedestals raise.

The pedestals make stone grinding sounds and...

Only one pedestal has raised, the pots have caused the animation to bug out and the game engine to assume that the pedestal is in the final position on the floor.

The floor position has the lever locked.

The game developer never anticipated what a massive idiot I was

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Bugs? My favs are buggy to the point some of these bugs became their own mechanics

This is pretty much half of competitive Brood War.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago

That's the spirit.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Dying to a stupid bug is a great way to suddenly get frustrated though. Hard agree with you though, buggy games are my favorite. Especially small indie projects because I you can find the great bugs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Dying to a bug in indie game can be so hilarious some youtubers in niche game communities got their rep from doing compilations of these. Case in point: PhanracK of WH:VT2 fame: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGlWiMg3bUg

Have you got some like this to follow?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 hours ago

I don't know any YouTubers other than "Let's Game It Out".

My fav game to speedrun is Neon Boost (free on Steam) because of several bugs I have found in the game. Otherwise a small boring indie platformer about rocket jumping is made fun (to me) through exploitation of its physics.

  1. Diagonal movement is faster (hold two adjacent directional keys). Sliding makes you even faster.
  2. Precise rocket jumps can receive more velocity than the developers intended, allowing you to skip many parts.
  3. You can touch the end of stage goal post from underneath the platform.
  4. You can wall jump off of the top of walls, allowing for many skips and time saves.
  5. You can get massive upwards velocity by sliding into a small couple-pixel ridge and jumping precisely once you touch it. This is possible on the starting platforms of all World 1 levels. It basically only improves individual level speedrun records, except on one level where you can skip the whole level and complete it in 1 second (an 9x faster than intended.

My crowning achievement was completing the final level of World 1 (1-12) in 18 seconds. The Devs expected a fastest time around 40 sec.

[–] [email protected] 94 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I am still complaining, but now I blame the managers

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

"wow, what director level ass pushed them so hard that they had to leave that bug in?"

I think of the T-pose all the time in cyberpunk, that was a bug that was horrible but obviously it was tracked somewhere, and some director was like "it's fine, ship it"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil 6 points 11 hours ago

Still stuck on FF15. So much time and energy invested in reinventing Unreal Engine... badly. Then they have to attack the corners of the actual story with a hacksaw to push a title seven years in development out the door half baked.

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[–] [email protected] 73 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Wrong.

[–] Buddahriffic 23 points 10 hours ago (5 children)

Yeah, that's something a shitty developer who is bad at debug would say.

Bugs frustrate me more because I can often guess at why they are happening and how to fix them but can't just apply the fix myself. Even more frustrating when there's an update and I'll think, "oooh maybe they finally fixed that annoying bug!" and then see it again shortly after installing the update.

[–] asdfasdfasdf 4 points 3 hours ago

Sometimes what's worse is when I am pretty sure something they suggest won't fix the bug and then it does fix it. Like I experienced a race condition in my Android email app and talked to support about it. They said try clear app data / cache and see if it worked. I thought there is no way that would solve it and they're just giving be the boilerplate support thing. It did fix it.

Now I'm even more scared at what their code is doing.

[–] ilinamorato 6 points 8 hours ago

"ugh I know exactly why this is happening" is such a frustrating feeling. Especially when it's stuff that should've been found in testing, or that you know probably was found in testing, but they deprioritized the fix.

[–] kameecoding 5 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Bugs frustrate me more because I can often guess at why they are happening and how to fix them but can't just apply the fix myself.

That's like a big portion of bugs lmao, lots of bugs exist because the spaghettification of the code makes it too costly to fix. Do you really think devs don't know why the bugs are there? They usually can't be fixed because there is no time or no willingness from management or the root cause is so deeply rooted it requires a shit ton of work to be able to fix it at all.

[–] Buddahriffic 3 points 9 hours ago

Yeah that's fair, though it doesn't help with the frustration. Especially when it's management getting in the way of things. Like with all the enshitification, my guess is that there's a dev or team of devs that hate themselves for going along with it.

[–] BlackPenguins 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

The DMR in call of duty years ago. "Here's a bug with a gun that instakills from 4 miles away that breaks the game dynamics. It's literally unplayable. Instead we added more features that make us money."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 hours ago

Now i complain about both the bugs in my games and the bugs in other games

[–] ElPussyKangaroo 134 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

If you learn to code, you learn that major bugs in releases are horrible and indicative of neglect.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

In a professional sense my experience is that they're more often the result of under-staffing and rigid, fixed release schedules.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 14 hours ago (6 children)

And changing priorities and scope.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 12 hours ago

Learn to code and you'll wonder how in the hell some bugs even got created

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 22 points 12 hours ago

Yes, because you'll be too busy being infuriated by badly designed user interfaces that you realize could have so easily been better.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

That's not true - I'm complaining about the bugs in our software almost every day!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

My favorite part is guessing what they do that results in the bug!

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[–] hakunawazo 48 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Show a man some bugs and he will be miserable for one day.
Teach a man how to code bad and he will be miserable for his whole life.

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[–] FourPacketsOfPeanuts 38 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Not true, I bitch about them more than ever

[–] ogeist 8 points 12 hours ago

"Who fast-tracked this shit?" -me

"It's a small change, should be safe, we will test it in production" -also me

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