The Onion

4944 readers

741 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

320

NYPD Unveils AI Surveillance Program to Help Them Arrest Wrong Guy 70% Faster (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

5 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 5 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Lmao, that headline is hilarious

“I thought it would be impossible for me to have mugged that lady in Central Park since I was on a flight back to NYC from Toronto when it happened, but with the groundbreaking power of artificial intelligence it turns out I’m actually guilty—is there anything AI can’t do?” said Jones. “I’m on the flight manifest and everything, but if AI said I did it then I guess it must have been me. I hope my lawyer knows some good prompts to ask ChatGPT for a criminal defense strategy!”

😆😆

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

A skin colour card and free access to lookup people's bank account balances would work much faster

[–] Gradually_Adjusting 8 points 2 weeks ago

I wish The Onion tasted more like an onion. I keep eating onions.

[–] marlowe221 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ah yes, the “Max Power” way…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

real