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Human behavior is statistical. Everything you can think of there is someone doing it. Accept this fact and stop looking for normal and you’ll feel more peace.
Know that the reaction you have to their behavior is a “you” thing. The way you feel is certainly based on some past trauma or frustration. If you can figure out what that is and work in it, you’ll be free.
Care less
I started therapy and my therapist helped me see that my fucked-up childhood left me with lots of triggers, which we examined. Understanding those triggers reduced their power. I also now understand I can leave stressful situations before I blow up. I don't have to constantly mask.
So, therapy. It's awesome. If your first therapist isn't a good fit it's ok to find another one.
In many cases, I think you need to figure out what (sources) is making you angry and trying to alter or remove that influence such that you are insulated from it. Anger should be listened to altho not necessarily the last word or sole authority on anything.
Anger is meant to protect you from being further harmed or taken advatnage of. It pays to consider what it is telling you and use it as a compass as well as an anti-compass in terms of who you should be involved with and who is problematic for your well-being
You gotta get yourself insulated to thr point that any further incursion is basically the perpetrator or associate stabbing themself in the own dick. You gotta get that shit happening on their dollar and time, not yours. Thats the only way it ever stops
Its all about easing them into consequences and you being insulated from it. Always insulate, help/force them off the boat into the sinking lifeboat with sharks at the ready to ease them into their destruction and elimination while you delicately whisper reassuring words into their hearts while ushering their transition home or wherever they belong (the place you take the liberty of determining in their stead for them).
Its a decision only you can be trusted to make for them but in time they will come to adjust to their new reality you're helping shoehorn them into
i bought a laptop that's made out of metal so that i can smash it all i want and it's still broken
Started thinking about if something will affect me in 8 minutes, 8 hours, or 8 days. Now i only get mad at things that will affect me for 8 days. My anger is from combat so it’s unreasonable which makes it easier to ignore now that i’m aware of it.
What do you mean by trigger you. How do you react? How does their behavior actually affect you?
It sounds like there is some other sort of resentment at play here. Is there some other underlying attribute the coworkers who annoy you share? Example: Are they friends outside of work and you are not? Is it a racial or ethnic difference? Look for the reasons why they specifically “set you off” and address those biases. Try to better understand them as people first.
You say they are lazy - is it your job to police them at work? If not, then do your work and get promoted. Then you can actually do something about it. Until then, back off unless they prevent you from doing your job. Maybe when they see you are doing better than they are, maybe they’ll follow your lead.
If you want to be a leader, lead. Be the change you want to see. Take pride in yourself and your work, inspire others.
Anyway, ask yourself those questions and be honest. If you are troubled by the answers, start there.
Hope this helps
You don't have anger issues, you have a toxic work environment issue.
Just remember none of us have free will.
Truly grocking that, makes anger at a person as sensible as anger at a wall.