this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
267 points (88.3% liked)

Greentext

4816 readers
2539 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 151 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This probably isn’t true, but like if it is, you shouldn’t have to be told to not let your dog fuck your ass. Your Dad is reacting exactly how any sane person would in that situation.

[–] spankmonkey 31 points 3 weeks ago

"Violence is isually the answer."

  • Roadhog
[–] papalonian 133 points 3 weeks ago

Hey, I just wanted you to know that I didn't like your post.

[–] [email protected] 98 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Anon screwed the pooch and is now in the doghouse.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Honestly I've never actually slowed down to truly parse the phrase "screw the pooch". Well, now I have, and also fuck you because I used to be innocent 😭

[–] [email protected] 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Raiderkev 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Holy shit. I thought I was being witty using that idiom instead of screwed the pooch. TIL it's already a thing, moreover the origin story of screwed the pooch.

[–] ReluctantMuskrat 2 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The origin doesn't include actually having sex with a dog though. "Fuck the dog" was just an expression for being lazy and "screw the pooch" simply makes it more palatable.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago

Dog gone it!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

I hate you.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TheBat 92 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Raiderkev 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

So George Carlin voiced the conductor in the US. Someone mixed in his standup with the show, and it's pretty great.

https://youtu.be/ov4RwjQGye0?si=PeSK7RYstqqq0d43

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait, I thought it was Ringo Starr?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Weird, I only recall seeing one version in the states. Or at least on PBS.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Not sure about it specifically, but when I was a child in England it was a british man, and when we moved back to the states it was a person with a NA accent. I later learned those to be Ringo and Carlin. Don't know about timelines, or release differences, or anything like that though.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 75 points 3 weeks ago

Once again an abominable greentext could have been avoided if anon would just have a damn shower!

[–] gmanlikescheese 55 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Thcdenton 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

i liek choccy milk

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] joucker29 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Connect for Lemmy on Android

[–] Quadhammer 46 points 2 weeks ago

What a terrible day to be literate

[–] Bosht 40 points 3 weeks ago

"be moaning like an anime girl" fucking lost it

[–] OmegaCloud 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Anon became a white woman.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

i don’t know what this means, but i hate you for writing it

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (11 children)

You'll hate me too for explaining it, there's a running stereotype that white women fuck their dogs.

I didn't make it up and I don't spread such stereotypes, but that's what they meant by their above comment.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

well that’s just stupid and racist.
but i appreciate the explanation and don’t hate you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm inclined to agree on that lol. No problem, and I'm glad we can continue a state of hatelessness between us!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

my new year’s resolution is that you and i maintain our mutual lack of hatred for each other.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does engaging and explaining such stereotypes count as spreading them?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

This is my first time hearing about that. Many people are extremely stupid, so it makes sense some notion like that would be idiotic racist bullshit that various losers would believe.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not sure why, but I feel like theres a different word underneath the word fella.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

Yeah, it’s the n word

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago

too tired to move

Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit. WTF anon?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago

I should have just scrolled away

1000014574

[–] j4k3 19 points 3 weeks ago

Red Rover
Red Rover
Peanut butter trick
for Ben Dover

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Well, fuck. Not just squick, but full-on nightmare fuel.

[–] SkunkWorkz 9 points 2 weeks ago
load more comments
view more: next ›