this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (29 children)

it's stressful, spending a lifetime pretending to not be as sensitive as a de-scrotum'd testicle

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[–] Clinicallydepressedpoochie 20 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah, it's sick. No man should be expected to be able to provide for a small to large family alone, not in this capitalist society that is designed to grind you into nothing. They should be allowed to enjoy hobbies like cooking, art, and home making. They should be allowed to give and recieve affection. The normal gender roles we were taught are trash. They are not meant for everyone but only for some class of people that existed at one point in time and that even then they were unique in the amount of wealth they all shared.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

a particularly high risk of suicide

As is expected from the traditional gender role.

If you're someone who frequently looks at your gender and then complains "my gender typically suffers from x malady" and it's not something that's being forced upon you by external factors (such needing your partner to confirm your personal medical decisions with your doctor concerning future procreation or needing your partner's permission to file for divorce), then maybe you should consider not being a typical example of your gender.

I have suicidal ideations and intrusive thoughts because a little voice likes to pop in every so often and tell me that killing myself would be super cool. So I take medicine to quiet the voice and tattle on it to my friends and family whenever it speaks up so they can help me assess if the advice is helpful or not. Is it "manly" to tell people close to me "I'm having suicidal thoughts and I don't know why"? Nope. But I'd rather be a weirdo than hurt my family.

Tradmen and tradwives are terrible examples of how to be a human human.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

The key to happiness is not having expectations haha. (Oversimplification, of course)

[–] Cypher 4 points 1 month ago

It is hilarious to me that you are paraphrasing a famous stoic philosophy, which is famously associated with masculinity, as a response to the ‘as expected’ higher suicide rate of gender role conforming men.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I didn't expect you to say that. Behold my giddiness

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

By that measure, we're all supposed to be fuckin' ecstatic over here in the US right now, then. 🥹

I mean, everything about the fetid amalgam of mud fuckery that's festering to boil over... As a nation, the prevailing placating excuse (aka "flagrant lie") seems to be: we simply did nazi that coming. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

External factors that have power over you can of course ruin the “plan” so to speak lol

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Ah, yes, the ol' "Best laid plans of mice" and all that?

[–] captainlezbian 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As a woman whose male friends have made the same choices as you I gotta say, I’ve always preferred spending an evening supporting a friend to spending it mourning him.

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[–] ZapBeebz_ 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'd be interested to see what the rates of suicidal ideation are compared between men who do and don't conform to traditional gender roles. Because there are a lot of contributing factors I can think of off the top of my head, like men who don't conform as strictly to traditional gender norms are probably more likely to go see a therapist, so they are more likely to see a way out of their situation that doesn't involve suicide. Also, men who more strictly conform to traditional gender norms probably are more likely to have guns in the home, and (as other studies have shown) men tend to prefer suicide by gun over pills/meds/other methods, so I'm curious if that has an impact as well.

[–] Gustephan 16 points 1 month ago

Anecdotally I am both of those. I grew up in a deep south military family, and I used to have a sidearm that I assigned way more of my identity to than I should have and thought about using on myself more than i ever thought about using in any other way. I didn't try therapy for the first time until my 30s, after I quit working for the airforce. Telling a man he needed therapy where I used to work was an insult no matter the context, and it was an open secret that you'd get fired if you sought any kind of mental healthcare. (not directly, but some security manager somewhere in the system would revoke your clearances and it would domino from there)

I'm still amazed I made it through that; it feels like almost every week I'm still blown away by how much different the world can be when it isn't just a deluge of bigotry and hatred and doomsday weapons. If you can help it, don't ever fucking make weapons. No matter how much they offer to pay you or pretend you're a hero. It's not worth your will to live

[–] HowManyNimons 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] ZapBeebz_ 5 points 1 month ago

Okay good, thank you. I couldn't find any info in the originally linked article.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (26 children)

There is no non-traditional gender role for a man to assume. A man who does not work and provide, protect and defend is shamed as a deadbeat. His is the only end of the old social contract no one wants to throw away.

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[–] captainlezbian 15 points 1 month ago

That tracks, traditional gender roles are overly restrictive and force people to deny their needs.

Men, nothing wrong with being masculine if you want, but if a woman demands you “man up” for her at the expense of your emotional needs, you’re better off single.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I would have been that statistic too before I transitioned and found gender roles are fucking dumb

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Gender roles are pretty dumb even for people happy living in their birth-assigned gender. But I guess you see it twice as bad^2^,cause you've experienced them from both sides now. Fixing yourself doesn't fix the world, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Men who don't conform to traditional gender roles are at a higher risk for being called "ha gay".

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[–] Delphia 7 points 1 month ago

Yeah because we get in there and GET THE JOB DONE. Women are just "yak yak yak" right guys?

Guys...?

guys...?

AW NO BILLY!?! WHYYYY BILLY WHYYYYY. WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SOMETHING THAT I COULD HEAR OVER THE CONSTANT NEED FOR US TO TALK ABLUT LITERALLY ANYTHING OTHER THAN OUR FEELINGS!?!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I'm not suicidal! You're suicidal!

[–] Reddfugee42 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They spend their entire life worrying about what everyone, from their family to complete strangers, will allow or not allow them to do. Can't imagine the stress. So glad my parents raised me to just be myself, do what I want, and tell anyone who complains to fuck off.

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[–] HowManyNimons 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Would I get downvoted for pointing out that this is one of the reasons I'm a feminist?

[–] captainlezbian 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Maybe, but if self interest drives a man to solidarity with women to fight against the patriarchy then most of the women I know who actually read feminist theory would agree that it’s a perfectly valid contributing reason.

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