Asklemmy

That if I reach out for help before things get bad, they don’t get as bad for as long, and that it makes people happy that I reached out.

I’m not a burden, I’m a person.

I am way better at everything I like to do since I stopped drinking all the time!

If you had asked me 2 years ago I would have said a couple of drinks makes everything easier lol

I am immune to a lot of anaesthetics and painkillers. This was figured out after surgery.

The older I get, the more I want to be honest with people (without being a dick about it) and have them be more honest with me (ditto, non-dickishness).

That reason I am angry so often is because I have anxiety.

Now this may be because I am oldish. But I grew up in world where anxiety and depression. all those things luckily existed but where associated with sadness or apathy.

So a lot of situations where I got anxiety, for example to be late or risk of asking stupid question I became really angry.

Making it extremely hard for people to deal with me because of the association was not something that was naturally occurring for people.

So last year I found an article about it and it honestly changed my life. I still get angry but now I can actually try healthy coping mechanisms instead of fighting anything.

I very likely have undiagnosed adult adhd. I filled out the official medical diagnosis assistant questionnaire a few weeks ago, and BIG OOOF. I haven't been to a doctor in over a decade, and I just keep putting it off

I was surprised to realize that I’m too tired for feedback.

Been a feedback junky my whole life and actively seeking it out. But after my last two jobs really beating me down without any sign of respect or good intention, I’m just totally burned out. Unless we have a very long standing, well established relationship based on mutual respect, and unless I know that you know more than me in the area we’re about to talk about… I don’t wanna hear how you think I’m doing and I don’t feel like doing it better right now.

That I prefer PlayStation over Xbox. I ended up playing the Killzone, Resistance, and inFamous series as well as Red Dead Redemption on a PS3 and I really liked the dashboard and trophy system. I even got used to the controller. I was a die hard Xbox 360 guy in high school but I think that was mostly because it's what my friends were using.

It does help consoles modding seems to be easier on the PlayStation side of things.

I am confident in my knowledge but I lied about my drafting skills when I got hired and it turns out I'm a lot better at CAD than the majority of my coworkers. The people who trained me are EXPERTS so I assumed everyone at my company was just as skilled as them...nope, people submit some real shitty drawings and have no problem putting their name on it. They've got me beat with technical knowledge but I'm the guy who makes the cleanest diagrams.

I love from connection, not attraction. I haven't had any crushes of the sort in my life. Now with this one girl it has clicked. We just started talking and I just have grown more atracted to her the more we have talked.

Waiting for that promotion will likely never come. Working your arse off doesn’t mean you’ll get it either.

Don’t let your job define who you are. Take time off, enjoy your surroundings and make time for your friends and family

I have been doing things because I think other people expect them, not because I actually want to do them. Now figuring out what I should cut out...

I think I'm a really unreliable narrator. Some of the stuff I say about myself just turns out to be untrue, particularly as it pertains to likes, dislikes, and my comfort zone. I don't know myself as good as I should, and really need to learn more

I'm burnt out at work.

That I needed a little validation as an artist. I’ve been making things all my life, and always felt like a bit of an imposter. I didn’t really care, or thought I didn’t. I recently entered some work to the Royal Academy show, which was accepted, then quickly sold for £1000. I have to admit it felt pretty good.

That keeping in touch with people gives me anxiety and I don’t know why. Even calling my family once in a while feels like such a battle. I haven’t seen one of my sisters in 10 years, and I love her with absolutely no bad feelings! But for some reason it’s so difficult for me to have frequent contact with them

That now that their is a family behind me, I am scared to change jobs even though its long overdue and I am burnt.

I don’t like people. Majority of people are exhausting and downright annoying to be around. Whether is commuting and being cut off by them, small talk in a doctors office, or family gatherings for holidays. They all just exhaust me and I can’t wait to get back to my cats. Honestly, my fiancé is the only person that doesn’t make me feel this way as of late.

That I may be autistic. Literally had a friend of 10+ years who works with nonverbal pre-K kiddies with autism say to me "You know you're autistic, right?" So I started taking some tests online and reading some books and stuff, and dang, that would make a lot of sense. Not sure if I want to try and seek an official diagnosis as it is apparently pretty difficult to access in my area. But as an AFAB elder millennial who has struggled my entire life with making friends, interacting socially, and progressing in careers it is really freaking interesting to maybe finally have a reason for that.

ETA that I have spoken to my therapist about this at length and she has casually agreed that I may meet a lot of the criteria and we are spending a lot of time breaking this all down. I'm very fortunate to have the access to mental healthcare that I do have.

I am extremely mentally resilient... don't get me wrong, I'm struggling, but I've been struggling for 10 years now, and I've gotten so used to the extreme stress of some various personal things I can't talk about, and being in limbo for ever for very important, life-changing (for the worst) events....

I'm here, I'm managing, and... no, I'm flourishing. The last year, became a Christian, started playing guitar, photography, collecting watches... I've done so well despite being under the pressure that I am..

Would love to talk about it all, but I really, really, cannot....