this post was submitted on 17 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wow, this onion went down way too easily. I was fully ready to believe it.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

This is the first time I actually did a double take at an onion article lol. It got me good too.

[–] aeronmelon 2 points 1 month ago

Sometimes we eat the onion long before it arrives.

[–] InverseParallax 72 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Terrible attempt at satire, completely unbelievable.

Why would Trump ever worry about the law?

[–] Serinus 4 points 1 month ago

He can't order anyone to force her until he's crowned by the Supreme Court.

Then he'll make it an Official Act.

[–] fizzyvelcro 36 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago

It's an 18th century law. Her knowing is irrelevant to him.

[–] InverseParallax 2 points 1 month ago

Shh, don't spoil the surprise!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

If you think she doesn’t, you haven’t been paying attention.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (2 children)

To be clear, he doesn't want to marry his daughter. He wants to fuck her.

[–] Delphia 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Great, now he and I have something in common.

Edit: her looks are about the least offensive thing about her, sorry. The terrible person is pretty hot. If it helps I'll wipe my dick on the curtains and give her a fake number.

[–] datelmd5sum 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] jaggedrobotpubes 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Valmond 4 points 1 month ago

Wow that was dark, thanks for the laugh!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's sad that I actually needed to check to see if this was an Onion article or not

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Reads the title

Goes WTF

Goes back to reread the title in moderate disbelief

Notices the website is theonion

Fuck you onion, you almost had me the first time around!

[–] Machinist 12 points 1 month ago

Had me for a second until I realized that he wouldn't know 18th-century law.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

I mean in his defense... This is an onion article after all. It's only mostly believable.

[–] betahack 8 points 1 month ago

don't tell him about prima nocta....NO PRIMA NOCTA!!!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

wow, almost had me again!