this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2024
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Self care? Chores? Try and fix every problem with your life before you have to go back in less than 24 hours to the job you hate?

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Easily the most effective for me has been to develop, review, and/or do one action item off a plan to be able to leave the job and work towards something I want to spend my time working on. Knowing I have a plan, remembering it and seeing that it's a good plan, and taking steps on that is a concrete reminder that the job I hate is temporary and I'm not stuck. That reduces the scaries significantly for me.

Then I also like to clean my place, light a scented candle, and read/watch something to make where I live feel cozy, comforting, and home-y. A reminder that even though the job is shit, I have at least built a home that I come back to. Might call a friend and talk it out too - works on both levels.

What do you do?

[–] Atrichum 16 points 2 months ago

Thr scaries start for me once it gets close to noon and the day no longer feels young. The feeling that the day is lost merges with a similar feeling about life, which urges me to do something, anything, with my time.

That's when I usually get a burst of productivity that lasts until it's 5pm. The weekend is gone and it's time to enter self care mode. That usually means good food and entertainment in one form or another. As it gets dark I'll start trying to stop time with booze or a bit of weed as I indulge myself with sports or a movie.

I will often go to bed early so I can be all cozy and in a safe space to go down a wikipedia hole, read a book, listen to music and just veg in general.

Once the day is actually over the scaries usually have disappeared oddly enough.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

My trick is that I enjoy my job.

[–] TheMinions 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)

What if you like your family more than your job? Hustle and bustle of the work/school week (even an enjoyable one) makes it incredibly hard for me to spend time with my family outside of weekends.

[–] Anticorp 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You recognize that you can’t always get what you want, and focus on appreciating what you have, rather than what you cannot change.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And you evaluate the parts you don’t like, asking “is this somehow serving the parts I do like?”

The job is meaningful if it allows your family to have a house.

But if there’s another job that maybe sucks less but pays just as much, then maybe your current job isn’t so meaningful. It’s just meaningless pain.

By doing this evaluation you get benefit on both sides of that outcome:

  • When something does serve the parts you like, it’s easier to bear
  • When something doesn’t serve the parts you like, it’s good to know so you can work on swapping it out with something that does
[–] Anticorp 1 points 2 months ago

Sage advice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Bring your family to work by getting rid of child labor laws! /$

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd be an awful person if I didn't like my family more than my job. Yeah, I'd love a better split of work and home time, but it is what it is. I'm home by 5.30pm or earlier every weekday, so there's evenings and weekends for family time, but we couldn't do things if I didn't have a job that pays well.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I like people in small snippets. A whole day with someone I deeply love and care about can be actual torture for me. But having a short snippet in the morning, and then 6 hours in the evening? Perfect for me.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I used to ask the same question as OP, then I discovered this trick (with crap load of luck, I had tried to find a job that I'd enjoy for a long time before I got one).

[–] Anticorp 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I remember thinking in my early twenties that I might as well kill myself if my experience was all adulthood had to offer. Thankfully it has quite a bit more to offer, it just takes a lot of time and effort to find it. I’ve never been suicidal, but at that point in my life I seriously couldn’t see putting myself through such misery for 40-50 years until I could retire, and was desperate for answers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Similar experiences. I was thinking "that's it? Now i have to do this 5 times a week, recover on the weekend, and then again for the rest of my life?!".

People kept telling me you get used to it. I felt hopeless after couple of years because it didn't get better.

Now I realize that a full time job doesn't need to mean that you are a husk working your life away, always completely drained.

[–] Anticorp 3 points 2 months ago

That was exactly it. Plus my job was incredibly physically demanding, and dirty. Then I’d come home after a 1.5 hour commute, take a shower, and spend the rest of the night in college classes. I’d go home after that and get as drunk as I could to try to feel some release, or happiness, then wake up hung-over at 4 am and do it all again. I was miserable. I never had time to surf, or see my friends, or do much of anything besides work, school, Army reserve duties, and drink. I didn’t really find a different path, but circumstance pushed me into different paths, and eventually some of those paths led to a life I enjoy. So, for any youngins out there feeling the same way, stick with it! It does get better if you’re trying.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago

Work from home on Monday

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Work hard. Play hard. I try to do all my chores and tedium in the weekday. Weekends are two-day vacations.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 months ago

100%

I have a lot of "momentum" mentally, it takes a lot for me to task switch from work to play or from play to work.

[–] Anticorp 6 points 2 months ago

Back when I drank, and didn’t like my job, I’d deal with it by being drunk as often as possible. I loved being drunk, and it created a clear delineation between play time and work time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

I love my job and usually work weekends.

Drawbacks. I get paid less than tuition. I didn't get renewed so I get to find a new one.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

I'm blocked at the minute (n Irish term for pretty damn drunk).

So yeah I guess Sunday is the day I try to think the least about anything in an attempt to keep myself sane.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Psychedelics, drink, smoke, remind myself i only have 50 years left of my shift on earth, get a vasectomy because it is child abuse to force my offspring to wage slave for less then what it takes to afford basic necessities.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Big slow breakfast. Do one very small thing (e.g. fix the bed). Tick that box. See how you feel. If it motivates you, try ticking another box. If that doesn't take, find the nearest sofa.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I like this a lot, could be a new Sunday trend. Cheers!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I'm finishing my assignment for my Bachelor, so I can eventually apply for I job I don't hate in the near future. I've done a couple no-education jobs and I've hated them all, or started hated them after a year or so. My last job lasted 6 years, but the last 4 were pure depression fueled. That's why I'm doing a bachelor now. I've started teaching in the field I'm studying after the first year of my bachelor and I'm really liking that so far. Still have to do the shitty job two days per week,but that's a world of difference from the 6 years of "more than full time".

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

Yoga. It’s a great way to start the week off on the right foot by dedicating some time to taking care of myself, and nice slow stretch feels really good

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I try to just do stuff I enjoy. I'm a football guy so Sunday is a great day for me this time of year. If I'm not doing that though, I'm spending time with my wife and daughter or tinkering with things that interest me like emulation.

Overall I make it my day and try not to worry about what is happening tomorrow. I will say the thing that really puts it into perspective for me is that I left a job earlier in the year that was unhealthy. I was working overnights and weekends. Sometimes I was only home 8 hours before I had to go back. I decided it was controlling too much of my life and I moved back to a regular Mon-Fri job. I'm so happy to have a regular schedule again and weekends to myself. I do my best to appreciate the time I have now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago