this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
12 points (92.9% liked)

Jokes

3411 readers
12 users here now

Lemmy users' attempts at being funny

Welcome to the funniest community on Lemmy! The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1- Bigotry, sexualization of minors, and hate speech are not allowed.

2- Links of any kind are not allowed in posts. All NSFW or NSFL content must have a proper Content Warning.

3- Remember to treat your fellow users with kindness and respect. Repeated violations will result in a ban.

4- Any attempts at advertising, company/personal promotion, and spamming will result in a ban.

Sister Communities

Comedy Heaven

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Mental Health

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message me or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

Less of a meme, more of a metameme. Lets hear your funniest pickup lines, muttered or received.

(Sorry mods if this should be on asklemmy. But I did it here, so /shrug (don't tell her though, because I like you more!)

I'll start (god this could be disastrous!)

  • HI, I'm MS Windows. Can I crash at your place tonight?
  • Do you know how much a Polar Bear weighs? Just enough to break the ice. Hi I'm ...
  • Hi, I'm Australian. I bet I meet all your prerequisite koalafications.

ok, lets hear some great hitters that are not all over the internet!

My personal favourite:

  • Hi, do you mind if I hang out here, until is safe back where I farted?
top 9 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Royal_Bitch_Pudding 15 points 11 months ago

My favorite is from Zapp Brannigan himself

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?"

[–] Okokimup 6 points 11 months ago

That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too.

[–] Valmond 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You mean Cheesy pickup lines?

This one from the 1980s springs to mind:

-"If I told you you have a beautiful body, would you hold that against me?"

[–] BrownianMotion 3 points 11 months ago

This is a classic, and I believe its still etched on Pompeii walls to this day!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Was it hard to get into these pants?

Is it gonna be hard for me?

[–] toomanypancakes 5 points 11 months ago

I have 206 bones in my body, wanna add another?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Damn girl, do you shit with that ass?

[–] Lauchs 2 points 11 months ago

This shirt would look a lot better tossed in a corner of your bedroom.

[–] Caketaco 1 points 11 months ago

I just shat my pants. Can I get in yours?