this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] FlyingSquid 52 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"How you stand up like that?"

[–] marcos 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Why do you stand up like that? That wrong and ugly! I can't believe you are my descendant!

[–] TehBamski 24 points 3 weeks ago

Why you so naked? Where is body hair?

[–] _bcron 34 points 3 weeks ago

Never poke bear with stick. Make bear run into stick

[–] Rolando 22 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I was really nervous before my first kid was born until I thought "Cave men raised kids, and they didn't have half the shit I have now. I think I'm gonna be okay."

[–] TehBamski 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That's a great perspective to have. Sure they didn't have social media to deal with or cars and such, but there are a lot of similarities in the end.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

If you see a big animal GO TO MOM

[–] uienia 5 points 2 weeks ago

As long as you ignore the extremely high infant mortality they had back then.

[–] TriflingToad 14 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

why bang rock near water? why not bang rock on dry?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

I guess flint is more abundant near rivers

[–] Lag 4 points 3 weeks ago

Maybe wet rocks are better for making tools. Or maybe it's funny to see friends break fingers because no netflix.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Water brings far rock. Some rock good, some rock bad

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Bang rocks makes hot! Hot can run fast, but water stops hot.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes 10 points 2 weeks ago

She asked them if she needed their guidance instead of asking for their guidance so she deserves an appropriately dumb answer.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

i wish i could pray to my ancestors and get a tutorial on how to find flint rocks

honestly that might be the best argument against being able to communicate with the dead, if it was possible then why would people die in the wild? surely all their ancestors would be fucking possessing them like the avatar state to keep them alive

[–] TheBat 2 points 3 weeks ago

Grok fluhant chuinikso jir