Mental Health

If you don't have a hobby, start by getting one. One where you need to interact with people, and eventually, you'll meet them and possibly make friends. If you're stuck between work and home, it's hard to meet new people and move on. One can't expect to keep the same friends forever in most y you just have to make new ones because people change

gang gang homie 🤙

I'm not going to promise you it will get better.
However, i admire that you're even out there doing the thing after all the bullshit.

Go for a walk—preferably among greenery. Breathe the air. Take a few pictures of pretty things.

I'm lucky enough to have forest nearby.
Here's one of mine:

I wish I had more to say than, "Hi, me." But I don't really... other than that I kinda spend more time with AI now than people. And I still people please with it, hah.

It took courage to post this. Knowing you are fed up and want something different is easy. Getting to the point where you have very little to lose by changing is extremely hard. It's astonishing how much suffering we're all willing to put up with.

Everyone is a version of themselves. Right now you are a version of yourself that is not satisfying. Focus on changing one thing. Focus really hard. Maybe start with valuing what you want and think. Say no or break with one person every single day starting tomorrow. Even if it doesn't help how people respond to you, it will help your self esteem.

I have always been a people pleaser. Drives me crazy. It's a quality that is good for about two interactions with people until you see diminishing returns. But there are other things I have learned to like about myself and that's enough to get me by.

Others suggestion of focusing on a hobby is an equally good way to find self esteem and others who share your interests. I wish you the best internet stranger.

Damn Lemmy users are in a spot today, based on posts here and in casual conversation

Life is complicated... finding something you like is. But I just hope you find something you are interested in, want to use, improve, nerd about, and find people doing the same.

Or you find people that feel just as you, and exchange experience with them.

A ton of people are lonely out there.

Obviously this is in mental health. If you're self aware of how cynical you are (and believe me, I've also been there as I'm also in my 40s), you really should look for avenues of therapy that resonate with you. Someone to talk to could actually hash out some inner feelings and turmoil you might be holding on.

I am/was a people pleaser also. It's hard to not be nice when people ask but I also realize if I'm saying yes to someone, I'm saying no to myself or something that might be more important. It's good to at least weigh the balance that way.

My final suggestion is a tall order. It may or may not be a popular suggestion here, but I found that stoicism has helped me. I read, watch videos, and listen to podcasts about the ancient Stoics and it helps me deal with feelings and encounters that enhance those feelings. Getting road rage? Take a deep breath and forgive that person who cut you off. Everyone has their demons and misfortune and perhaps they needed it more. But the point is you take and keep control of your feelings and actions and then you'll pursue peace. Of course shitty things will happen in the world and you don't want to be callous about them. But once you keep your integrity, authenticity, and pursue wisdom, courage, justice and temperance, everyone will see that and follow suit.

Good luck, stranger. I'm just an idiot on the Internet but your words pulled on my heartstrings.

those are the kinds of people who seem to be anle to reach all of their goals and have others worship the ground they

Only the successful ones. Pretty of low life arseholes that don't. Also pretty of successful people that aren't sociopaths.

But it's a common thing for an empathic person with depression to wish their empathy away. Same thing with your twisted love for destruction. It seems fitting as it's the antithesis of what you are, and you've convinced yourself that you don't matter.

My advice try and get help, in the form of therapy or through your old friends. I know you feel like that's over, but have you tried asking them for help?

Gl buddy. It's a tough road, not easy to dig yourself out of. But funny give up just yet.

If anything, I applaud it... I just want it all to stop.

Even on days when it's okay, even when months pass and it all seems fine.

My paranoia won't subside, even now I'm scared even though I'm safe in my home. If it all collapses, it all stops, I won't have to be afraid anymore.

I recognize that! I wonder how long you've been in this headspace? Definitely cynical loop as someone else said. That edge isn't you it's your state of mind that you might be stuck in.

When I'm in the red zone I'm irritable, and my values are to be honest so I tend not to be a people pleaser by default. I wonder if you being a persistent people pleaser is a symptom of you being depressed rather than the fixed trait you might think of it is as. Self destructive behaviour like that can manifest from low mood states.