this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2024
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Aneurysm Posting

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For shitposting by people who can smell burnt toast.

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[–] Deestan 207 points 1 month ago (10 children)

Step 3: Prepare a bowl of jelly.

Step 3: Prepare a bowl of sourcream.

Step 2: Prepare a bowl of peanut butter. Touch the bowl gently.

No step: Fingers melt painlessly into caramel. Hold them in your hand.

Step 4: Flatten the peanut butter.

Step 6: Unflatten the peanut butter.

Step 1: Take the peanut butter out of the bowl and put it back in.

Step S: Move peanut butter to a small lasagna baking dish. Flatten and divide into 3 parts.

Step 4: Observe the jelly.

Step 8: Prepare a small bowl of caramel sauce.

Step 3: Stir the caramel once with a finger.

Step 1: Observe the jelly.

Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area.

Step 4: Check the jelly is still there.

Step 3: Carefully slice the bread, but you will still cut your finger. The future has already happened. You can not change it.

Step 6: Put sourcream on top of the peanut butter and flatten it.

Step 3: Pour the bowl of sourcream and peanut butter into a bowl of sugar.

Ingest excitedly.

[–] NarrativeBear 39 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

How to make a PBJ sandwiche, step 8 will shock you!

"Step 8: The spoonful of cum is not needed. Gently remove it from the baking area."

I'm dying, good work!

[–] rain_worl 0 points 5 days ago

you are WRONG! THIS is step 8:

Step 8: Prepare a small bowl of caramel sauce.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

This has me crying lol

[–] grue 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How frustrated did you get with Markdown trying to "fix" your numbering while writing that?

[–] Deestan 11 points 1 month ago

Markdown's "smart" numbering is the worst.

[–] adj16 14 points 1 month ago

I really appreciate how much effort you put into this

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Deestan 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am sorry, but these instructions have no step 3. The steps in these instructions are: 3, 3, 2, error, 4, 6, 1, S, 4, 8, 3, 1, 8, 4, 3, 6 and 3.

Did you mean Step 3?

[–] adj16 5 points 1 month ago

Lmao, amazing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This was epic. Thank you fine .worder!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This looks like a initially simple state machine written in assembler (or a similar language where you have to use jumps for program flow) that has been modified heavily by 15 devs in 25 years in production, while they all shat their pants

[–] _stranger_ 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

; the spoonful of cum is not needed. TODO: Gently remove it from the cooking area.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Oh man you’ve got me cracking up here. That spoon full of cum hahaha. People a bit further are looking very strange at me now

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

You forgot that in step 2 you're supposed to touch the bowl with your toes and/or "good hand."

[–] taiyang 5 points 1 month ago

I followed the steps but my jelly managed to get away before Step 3 and ate half my family. I'll try again, but I'm running low on cousins. 5/5 stars.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

step 3 is such an eye-opener!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tbh Step 3 was as far as I got. How do you get to step 3 from step 3?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

I dont nnow halve my face whenwent limp anddd went itself

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

Looks like I'm out of a job.

[–] KoalaUnknown 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I got a similar result with ChatGPT; however, it has no issues with written instructions. Interestingly, when I asked it to convert the written instructions into an image, it still gave a result similar to OP’s.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

It seems there's a fundamental incapacity for the model to produce an ordered series of images inside one image. What if you ask to describe each step with a separate image?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

Over a third of the many steps are literally just peanut butter, which is not quite enough peanut butter but close.

[–] sunbrrnslapper 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Nevermind the ordering and triangle shaped bread. What the f*** is the white stuff?!? Absolutely nothing on a PB&J should be white.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

It's called whole fat bull milk

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Mayonnaise.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could be whipped cream... I would try it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Marshmallow fluff!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

I tried to focus to follow up, and it made me laugh.

[–] affiliate 7 points 1 month ago

the jelly looks more like cranberry sauce than actually jelly

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is there a word for uncanny valley but it’s not a person?

[–] roguetrick 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Just uncanny. I like that word by the way, one of the few we picked up from the scots.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/canny

The older sense of eldritch and the newer sense of weird also all work. Unfortunately using all these words means we're calling AI models fae. In a lot of ways, of course, true AI would be fae

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

The shit just works!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This might be my favourite post here lol

[–] adj16 5 points 1 month ago

❤️

I thought I was having a stroke trying to understand it before I realized what it was, and it just struck me that it would be right at home in this community

[–] Etterra 3 points 1 month ago

My favorite step is backwards ð (eth). Step 8 is pretty good too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Man I really need to learn how to cook. Been making them wrong my whole life

[–] gndagreborn 2 points 2 weeks ago

This is what medical school feels like for me.

[–] Etterra 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I love that derploaf bread.

[–] adj16 1 points 1 month ago

I think the bread and the pb fused into some creamy carby hybrid?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nothing makes a good PB&J like some miracle whip.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

It’s got that tangy zip

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

I think the real problem is someone needing instructions for making a PB&j.

[–] 0oWow 1 points 1 month ago

We finally found out who is hoarding all of the peanut butter! It was AI all along!!