Satan is actually the good one; God just talked a bunch of shit and lied about how cool he was and how bad Satan was to pick up ~~chicks~~ worshippers.
this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
612 points (94.7% liked)
Greentext
4610 readers
853 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Satan welcomes all people, from all walks of life, with open arms. God is a bigot who only accepts certain people, if they’re “good enough”. It’s also my understanding that God killed over 2-million people, while satan only killed 10.
Tell me how God loves me unconditionally again?
And also God apparently has so much power he could fix everything in this world with little effort. But no, he specifically creates it. God created all there is, including all the bad stuff. Murderers? Rapists? Slave owners? ...? Yep. But, "Do not question God's intentions. He works in mysterious ways."
And botflies. Don't forget botflies.
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid
Who made the spiky urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!
All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
Amen!
There's a great DarkMatter2525 video on this. By valuing "free will" over helping people, he directly favors evil. Man rapes woman, but god doesn't help because "free will". The woman had no "free will" to prevent it. Bad guy gets what he wanted, victim gets trauma.
load more comments
(1 replies)
He also kills defenseless babies before they can be baptized. And if life begins at conception, why is God pubishing babies by killing them in the womb (aka stillborn)? Why do they deserve to be stuck in purgatory when they are innocent?
load more comments
(13 replies)
Story of Job is basically
Satan: bet that guy wouldn't worship you anymore if you ruined his life
God: Totally would, watch me kill his whole family
They are both on team asshole
load more comments
(12 replies)
God had a pretty impressive kill count
Satan's was what? A dozen at most?
load more comments
(2 replies)
Technically, Satan is a creation of God. Otherwise christianism would be polytheistic. So even if you consider Satan as the good guy, God is still responsible for both good and evil.
Christianity is has almost always been so dangerously close to polytheism that it’s laughable it isn’t considered to be.
It’s just bureaucracy at this point, I guess it’s not polytheism if you lower everyone to “middle manager god”
In the story of the Tree of Knowledge, the serpent old the truth while god lied.
Between the two of them, only God kills in the bible, and boy he does it a LOT
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Hol'upaminnitt. Lucy stops the panic attack and delivers the tasties, and they're still the baddie? Anon is one ungrateful gumby.
Satan is cool and understanding. He was God's bitch once as well.
God just claims you have free will. Satan is the one that actually fights for it
load more comments
(1 replies)
Sounds like God wasn't capable enough to stay competitive in today's spiritual market.
God needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps. He can't expect to have everyone's souls handed to him.
Read your bibles people: GOD IS THE VILLAIN
The biggest trick of the devil was to convince everyone he was actually god
the plot twist is real
load more comments
(1 replies)
Christianity would have been so much cooler if the Gnostics won the cult war
Yeah, it's unfortunate that death-cults preaching about the poison of reality are really bad at surviving through time.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Hail satan
Highest resolution 4chan post I've ever seen
Hail Satan
Just rolling into the next panic attack, huh?
Praise Satan!
Hail Satan!
Lucy was the angel who stood up to their bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father and got kicked out for it. Why would I want to hang out with the judgmental prick instead of the guy who just wants everyone to eat drink and be merry?
bloodthirsty megalomaniacal father
Imagine Yahweh the war god is your Dad.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Anon tells on themselves about their true beliefs.
Hail Satin!
Plot twist: the calm was inside of you all along.
Hail Santa!
The only reason Jaweh is seen as the good guy is because they are better at marketing
view more: next ›