Asklemmy

The neighbours raised a fledgling starling that lost its mother. When it was big enough it decided the whole world was his best friend and would socialize quite a lot with us. I have a million pictures of him on our heads or shoulders or yelling at us through the kitchen window to come outside and find him some bugs.

Anyway he was absolutely in love with car rides. Yes, a wild bird liked a road trip. The guy who was feeding him used to bring him to work every morning to feed him routinely so he got very used to the car, and he LOVED it. So when we got home from work he'd sit on the roof of the car and yell until we came outside and took him for a ride somewhere. I had many car rides around the neighborhood that summer while he sat on my shoulder and yelled gleefully in my ear.

I found out that my dad had a secret girlfriend who was my age. A student of his. He also had a secret job, working as a consultant for Putin’s science advisor.

The strangest moment of my life was probably when I found myself doing DMT with a Willie Nelson impersonator in his mobile home. He had a pit bull which was running around with an erection.

I could list a few. 

- Christmas when I was about 10 I found out my dad wasn’t really my dad. Thanks nana. The man who raised is my dad to me still. 

- Leading on from the last one. Later in life my biological father got in touch and giving it all the life complicated spiel. I was indifferent but figured sure I’ll meet. Turns out he was back with my mum and now I’m back at home and he ain’t ever act like a dad, and now he doesn’t see if other daughters since he got back with my mum. Dudes a joke. 

- as you might have noticed I’ve had a tumultuous childhood. Mum spent my formative years flipping between my non-bio dad and the man who I have a half brother with, who I ain’t seen in 30 years. So I spent the time sat in the back of a car whilst she called men to her friend or went in pubs to pour pints on their head. 

- one time we came home and saw burglars robbing our flat. Probably something to do with my half brothers dad. 

- one time as a young adult, the man that raised me was out getting drunk in his mates house. My mum made me break the door down and she went in all guns blazing grabbing a golf club and going ham. 

- Fell in a canal at night off my box on Xanax and thought I might die. Threw out my stashed and literally nearly died from withdrawals. 

- surprising not been assaulted many times cause I used to be a righteous mouthy cunt when drunk, i don’t drink at all as I saw how it broke my dad, well my mum did but alcohol didn’t help. 

- watched as my mum and dad had a loveless marriage and at the start he used to hit her, then later she bullied his ass for decades. Like take his wages and refuse him money for cigs. 

- on way to school vacation and got told my dad was going prison for driving drunk whilst banned. 

- saw my tea dumped on her head. 

- it’s all coming back now. One time my dad tried to drive the car into our house but it got stuck in the bushes. 

That’s just a few, but yeah it’s no wonder I’m fucked, not an excuse as I’ve made progress and got a good job now. Not sure I’m happy but I’ve just shut off the stuff I grew up around as what else can I do.

Having an in-depth conversation with a crossdressing or trans street sex worker at 0100, claiming they were thirty but who looked eighteen at most, looking to do tricks for meth money, while I was outside of a bar on karaoke night on acid.

She showed me her DeviantArt page, which included a drawing of her as a queen on a playing card fellating a shampoo bottle. It was the most fucked up, but interesting drug-addled conversation I've ever had. Very friendly, eventually went down a block to another group of people because quote 'They look pretty drunk'.

Every part of this sounds made up, but I swear it's true.

Edit: For some reason, I think it's important to point out this was a Thursday night.

Witnessing someone's bad trip. A very, very, very bad trip. The kind of incident with a "before" and an "after". Worse is that it was completely avoidable, had I been a little more concerned about others, rather than myself. I can never forgive myself for what happened that day..

When I found out my first love had been cheating on me for 2 months and began gaslighting me, guilt tripping me and gossiping lies, while I was just standing all that in silence. I was already going through very stressful situations as leader of 2 projects that were going downhill in work... I went manic/psychotic, and had a ton of panic attacks, went through disassociation and derealization a lot. I was able to save the projects tho. 1 month later I lost my best friend due to a stupid misunderstanding while manic/psychotic. I had major depression and generalized anxiety for 1 year. To this day I have trauma from all this.

Hey, that post on that other instance was mine ;)

Probably climbing up the West Ridge of Quandary Peak in CO. I was with 3 college friends. I didn't expect the altitude to affect me as much as it did, but I got pretty winded. It was a little snowy and wet, so our holds were sketchy at times. Along the ridge it's class 3 climbing, and the crux is a crack in a steep rock with a dangerous fall behind you. That was probably the biggest adrenaline rush I've ever had.

Thankfully we were greeted by some friendly mountain goats on our descent.

Here's a good video of the climb. The harder stuff starts about 9 minutes in.

https://youtu.be/CN5P4aRxnu0?si=O0MSyjB_RJTZ4fmj

Seems strange that all stories here are so mild? Anyone got an actually crazy but real story?