this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/859143

Experiencing firsthand how difficult an aging alcoholic, quadriplegic, post stroke, narcissistic, demented or simply ‘nothing’s wrong with me, I can drive, I don’t need those meds, I don’t need to go to a nursing facility’ kinda parent surely gives you some insight on what to do, what not to do and how to prepare for our own aging and eventual demise.

How do you plan to age gracefully and what advice do you have for us all?

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[–] Today 16 points 7 months ago

We took care of both of our moms. It's hard. Money helped a lot - MIL had a nice savings So we never had to pay for anything. My mom had long-term care insurance, so that and her savings covered her care. It's very very stressful. You have to be able to get away occasionally and that's either hiring someone or begging friend/family for help. I hope that I'm accepting of what my kids tell me is best for me. Looking back, I wish I had listened more to what my mom told me she wanted/didn't want.

[–] ganksy 12 points 7 months ago

My wife and I take care of her father. It is tough sometimes but he has a great disposition. He is always willing to try things to better his health or our living arrangement. He has just about every serious health issue known to the scientific world. From that I know what I will/am avoid(ing): don't smoke your whole life, stay away from old asbestos piping, eat less salt/sugar.

Even with those changes, I'm not sure our outlook is going to be much better. We don't have kids so I guess the nursing home is more likely for us.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Fuck that noise, I hit 70, I'm heading into the woods with some pills and whatever else I can get my hands on and just not coming back. Let some coyote munch my bones after I go out high as a kite

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Many people say this, almost nobody does it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Well, anything can happen in two decades.

But I've got some supplies set aside just in case, whether the in case is then, or because something untenable happens in between.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Do you have no next of kin?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 7 months ago

Currently, yeah. No idea what it'll be like in twenty years.

Not that it matters, it isn't about them, it's about what I'm willing to put up with just to squeeze out more years

[–] Flummoxed 8 points 7 months ago

The best idea I have heard is to write letters to future self after certain difficult times that you go through with your parents as they age in order to remind your future self of the logical arguments against the most likely arguments of your future self.

The most persuasive argument should be the person who you have picked to give you the letter, and that fact should feature prominently in the letter.

[–] Ultragigagigantic 3 points 7 months ago

Intentional heroin overdose

[–] Tangent5280 2 points 7 months ago

I honestly don't think we'll age that much at all. With the heat stress from warming climates, bodies riddled with microplastics and so on, we will likely have a short, albeit painful, existence.

[–] MissJinx 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Oh I don't plan too, I'm just around while mom is around, don't want her getting sad and stuff

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Hunting rifle