I don't think there is a single person behaves that way online that thinks it doesn't change the person they are IRL. It's just online they have the balls to be the person they really want to be.

Zizek says that our online persona is our real persona, because it doesn't have the weights and limitations of our physical bodies and can be free to express as itself.

I think this as well. People in on-line video games are so quick to flame, troll, and ruin a game. But Ask them if they think it reflects poorly on them and they'll either get defensive, victim-blame, or say they were just joking. They complain about having bad community scores in these games, and blame literally everyone else before they can admit any semblance of culpability. Saw it in DOTA 2, saw it in Smite, and every other online forum.

However, we all lose our cool sometimes. I am usually the chillest dude on the server, but if I've had 3 games in a row of being flamed, trolled, having teammates quit, and on that fourth game some teammate "woohoo's" my death? I'm already so steamed from the previous games that I'll unleash a nasty comment right back, even if the dude accidentally hit the wrong emoticon thing. And if they are legit trolling, and I'm fed up? yeah, that's definitely a nasty message right back at'em.

I guess I'm trying to say, we all lose our cool on-line once in a while, just like we all lose our cool in real life once in a while. Those once-in-a-while situations don't define us, as long as most-of-the-time we're chill. But if you're edging towards losing your cool most-of-the-time, with your chill moments only once-in-a-while? then yeah, man. you're the a-hole.

The only difference is that if you do it online and not in real life, you're a coward, two-faced, or both.

The true test of a person's character is what he they do when no one is watching.

with no apologies to john wooden

There is no division between who you pretend to be and who you are.

This is quite the nice message in view of imposter syndrome too. If you're being a kind person online then you are simply a kind person.

humans regularly put on acts. Work, love life, friends, family etc. What makes online an exception?

My toxic trait is that online I code switch to calling out bullshit instead of sitting quietly listening to nonsense

absolute lie!

I am funny when I'm online.

Eh.... there are abundant examples of assholes who have learned to pretend to be decent people though.

I've asked myself in the past, if someone found my account, would they be shocked to read what I posted? I want the answer to be no. I wouldn't want someone IRL to see my account activity and be shocked by what an asshole/troll I am on the internet. I hope that the person I am on the internet is at least as kind as I perceive myself IRL, if not kinder.

I disagree with this. The issue is more nuanced than that.

Sometimes people have a bad day now and then, and sometimes a bully needs to be bullied back.

I think this is due to the person’s definition of asshole being someone who sends death threats

Truth

https://gizmodo.com/online-trolls-actually-just-assholes-all-the-time-stud-1847575210

The term code-switching comes to mind, but it's not a perfect fit. The linguistic term talks about it more as something that people will do when they aren't able to express an idea in a specific language or dialect. The other time I here it is when talking about racial inequality, and code-switching in that context includes how one dresses, talks, behaves, etc.

In the same fashion that folks can be normal in social settings but shitty online, I've often heard that abuse happens in private because abusers only allow themselves to be abusive in private. This sounds very similar to the concept of code switching, though is almost the opposite of what it usually means. I do not know of a term for it.

Long story short, you are the ultimate decider of how you act, and you are yourself in all contexts. Take responsibility for your behavior in all contexts, because it matters in all contexts.

At the same time, though, I am a determinist who views humans as animals running off the same reward systems as any other animal, and thus equally likely to be 'unconscious' of their problematic behaviors. The seed of self control, the very idea of autonomy and personal responsibility, needs to be planted in many people. That role initially falls upon the parents, then the teachers as well, and then the individual's community. If none of that occurs, then it is no longer any small collection's duty, but the duty of society at large. So punch Nazis - you're doing them a favor.

Denis Leary taught me how to proudly be an asshole a long time ago. Lessons worth living.