805
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 99 points 2 months ago

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW

[-] [email protected] 50 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is. For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Sounds like we need to get the SCP Foundation involved. I'm getting some serious Turn Down for What vibes from this.

[-] Mirshe 1 points 2 months ago

Nah, this is an AWCY-grade weird performance art thing.

[-] MamboGator 22 points 2 months ago

I had kind of a crappy day at work but this comment and three beers have made it all better.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Glad to be of service!

[-] multifariace 38 points 2 months ago
[-] Anticorp 13 points 2 months ago

Watch out boy she'll chew you up.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago

Ohhh-ohhh here she comes

[-] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago

Also a good Mother (photo taken yesterday):

[-] JustUseMint 6 points 2 months ago

How it walk round wit dat wagon

[-] HootinNHollerin 4 points 2 months ago

Junk on the trunk

[-] [email protected] 29 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 11 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Wikipedia:
To mate
following courtship,
the male usually leaps onto the female's back,
clasping her thorax and wing bases
with his forelegs.
He then arches his abdomen
to deposit and store sperm
in a special chamber near the tip of the female's abdomen.
The female lays between 10 and 400 eggs,
depending on the species. Eggs are typically deposited in a froth mass-produced by glands
in the abdomen.
This froth hardens,
creating a protective capsule,
which together with the egg mass
is called an ootheca.

[-] badcommandorfilename 9 points 2 months ago

poemforyoursprog is that you?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I just liked the wikipedia entry and thought it had a touch more poetry and... enthusiasm let us say than I was expecting. And no, poemforyoursprog would have made it all rhyme.

[-] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

“She had six strong legs and it frightened me. She had insect eyes but I could still see that the look she gave him you give to me.”

[-] KreekyBonez 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

well, now I know this exists.

thanks, I guess

edit: apparently this guy is responsible for R.E.M.

[-] MataVatnik 10 points 2 months ago

Will eat you after you blow your load

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

I'm listening

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Doesn't matter, had sex 😎

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[-] MataVatnik 6 points 2 months ago

The female may begin feeding by biting off the male's head (as they do with regular prey), and if mating has begun, the male's movements may become even more vigorous in its delivery of sperm.

Bruh

[-] JustUseMint 3 points 2 months ago

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=-sMQpWCNTQw

[-] MataVatnik 2 points 2 months ago
[-] numberfour002 9 points 2 months ago

Her milk shake brings all the bugs to her arms.

[-] deweydecibel 5 points 2 months ago

Skinny legs? Is that a thing people want?

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Look up "thigh gap". Not saying I agree with it, just that it's a thing.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Isn't that a thing of teens and underweight people?

[-] Shou 1 points 2 months ago

Not per se. It's a wide hip thing.

[-] _sideffect 4 points 2 months ago

I don't like huge butts, like the bbl. It's gross

[-] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

You dislike big butts and you cannot lie?

[-] _sideffect 1 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

All fine but I don’t like big butts.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Probably for the best, you can tell these types are man eaters with one look.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

Does she only come out at night?

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago
[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am truthful to a fault.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

✅ Flesh-rending claws

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

skinny legs aint sexy when paired with a big butt

this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2024
805 points (98.3% liked)

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