A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
Support Hotlines:
Coming out was a lot easier for me than expected. My Mom's side of the family is cool and when I came out to them as a trans enby and mentioned wanting to start hormone therapy they were incredibly supportive.
What was a real surprise was my Dad's reaction. We'd grown apart since I was outed as gay at 16, and he really doesn't "get" why I'd want to transition, but after clearing up a bit of confusion he accepted me as well. Just wants me to be happy. Woo!! ^__^
Its great to hear that your dad came around :)
Personally I probably couldn't have resisted a little trolling along the lines of "Hey dad, so I am technically no longer gay..." :D
Lol, nah. I'm extra gay now =3
technically
lmao
I was in a mental hospital (because I was suicidal, because I'm trans) when I told my dad. I specifically told him that this is the reason why I was there and he still thinks "it's just a phase" and deadnames me whenever I'm around. I just hope it gets better when I'm on HRT, but for now I just avoid him
I came out almost immediately for a couple reasons:
my mental health was total garbage and boymoding was literally unbearable
I knew that most of my friends and family were pretty accepting and open minded
I lived in a very diverse and accepting city at the time
this was during the height of Covid restrictions so nobody was going out anyway
Basically the discomfort of hiding my true self overrode the fear of being openly and visibly trans lol
Fortunately everyone I came out to was really positive about it. I was prepared to cut out a few of my extended family members if it came to that, but thankfully I didn’t need to
The only thing I wish could have gone differently is that I stayed in the closet at work. I had some problematic coworkers so I didn’t feel safe being openly trans there. Unsurprisingly I didn’t last long at that job lol
One thing I can say is that I wouldn't stress too much about the whole mid transition mess thing. No one, including you, will really remember it or see it as important once its over.
It's hugely important when you're in the middle of it, but it doesn't stay that way :)
For me, I was 16, and my Mom noticed that I had done certain things, such as shaving my legs and painting my nails. She brought me into her room and asked me what was going on. I didn't really feel ready to tell her yet, so I just looked at her in silence. She asked me a million questions and eventually she asked me if I'm trans. I still wasn't ready yet, but I also didn't want to lie either, so I didn't say anything. She asked me again, and I knew she was on to me, so I gave a sheepish little nod. She told me she loved me and gave me a hug, although she did have a bit of prejudice towards me at first, but she gradually became more accepting over time.
Imo, it is better to come out sooner rather than later. If they have prejudice towards you but still love you, they will come around eventually. I think that because the people around me have gotten to see me progress through my transition, it is helped them to more easily see me as human. Of course, come out when you are ready. It sucks to not be able to come out in the way you want to, and being that I was forced out early, I'm not sure what the experience is like if you come out later. My thoughts are that because humans tend to not like new things, their reaction might be a bit harsher if you come out later.
The whole "vanish for a couple years and show back up as a woman" appeals so much... I just don't think I could do that to my mother. The rest of my family I couldn't care less but I would feel guilty not involving her.
Maybe in a couple years, some therapy for anxiety, and a different job, I'll think about coming out. No HRT anytime soon, family and personal history of growing/developing EXTREMELY fast I get the feeling it would out me within months haha
For now, hair removal and some comfy clothes to wear at home is my goal. Found an electrolysis place nearby that does roughly $85 an hour (no matter what I've wanted permanent hair removal "down there" since it started growing.) Maybe laser to greatly thin out bulk body hair.
Was supposed to get some pretty (over knee and thigh high) socks delivered today but something went wrong; supposedly were delivered, but i think they went to the wrong place 😥
They were delivered to me by mistake, I am keeping them. 😈
Evil hahaha
Well, they got here! USPS scanned them as delivered a day early 😑 Definitely feels nice to have something skin tight on my entire leg, but I very much prefer the texture and thickness of my wool socks from Darn Tough. But they sure look good! Some standard black/gray programmer socks, and these (which are a liiiittle tight around the feet but otherwise nice)
https://sockdreams.com/products/foxy-over-the-knee-socks?variant=44684107022631
Cute!
They really are!! It's nice to look down and see the adorable little sleepy fox faces! Wish they were a liiiiittle bit bigger but that's just the thunder calves and super wide (6E) feet messing with the fit. Just barely comes over my knee.
Not on HRT, but im really in luck with my face i guess...,
I'm doing my nails, curly or brushed long hairs, makeup,
Anarchist Lesbian Look,
Im not seeing my family, and if i have to do, for an execption, i can go in boy mode. I got insults because you know, just hairs.
So like you, i think, one day i will appear to them as real me, but not now.
Now that you have my context ^^",
For now, im doing my CO, at work. No choice ofc.
That wasnt a surprise for them of course. They were alreadry chocked before.
The positiv part, in all of this, i gained confidence.
And i can see, who is an "ally", at least not hostile, without being in my paranoia H24,
The biggest positiv part ? I want to try something new on my face, outfit, i just can without thinking anymore.
Yeah im superficial ah ah
Don't think I could start HRT without at least coming out to a couple more people (not like I literally can't, but I feel it important for me). With my brother, I came out to him basically as soon as I started questioning my gender and updated him whenever I got a chance. My cousin also knows. Brother was helpfully skeptical, but excited. My cousin didn't have much reaction. Mostly just a "Walrus gonna do what Walrus gonna do"
My parents, sister, and friend have seen me dress in varying degrees of gender non-conformity (including my sister seeing me cosplaying as a female character), enough so that two of them have explicitly asked if I'm a woman (which I just said no because I consider myself an enby). Not exactly trying to hide it, but also kinda uncomfortable talking about it.