this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2024
34 points (70.2% liked)

Showerthoughts

29701 readers
949 users here now

A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. A showerthought should offer a unique perspective on an ordinary part of life.

Rules

  1. All posts must be showerthoughts
  2. The entire showerthought must be in the title
  3. Avoid politics
    1. NEW RULE as of 5 Nov 2024, trying it out
    2. Political posts often end up being circle jerks (not offering unique perspective) or enflaming (too much work for mods).
    3. Try c/politicaldiscussion, volunteer as a mod here, or start your own community.
  4. Posts must be original/unique
  5. Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct-----

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 36 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think it's the opposite thing. They can't be alone, they crave attention and validation. A desperate need to have someone around.

[–] fubo -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I was thinking more in the sense of "doing something that will lead to breaking-up / divorce" and "acting as if you're already single when you're not".

[–] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Weeeell most cheaters don't intend to be caught or confess. But I get your point.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Exactly. This post is like saying men who hit their women are wannabe singles. It massively underestimates the stability of abusive relationships.

Just because one person is abusing the other doesn’t mean the relationship is ending. It would be far less horrifying if that’s what it meant, but that is not what it means.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

I think this is way off base. It's easy to make yourself single.

Cheaters either think they will get away with it, or are lying to themselves about what they are doing.

"My partner won't mind so much."

"Nothing that feels so right could be wrong."

"I'm not the kind of person who cheats, so considering the circumstances, this doesn't really count."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I think the joke is they want to MAKE themselves single, but also that they ACT like they are single. But yes I'd bet the average cheater is in denial about both sides of this shower thought.

[–] recapitated 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] fubo 13 points 9 months ago (3 children)

First step to polyamory is consent.

[–] recapitated 7 points 9 months ago

Hence the wannabe qualifier

[–] DontTreadOnBigfoot 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

If I've learned anything from all those documentaries about cults, it's that the first step to polygamy is identifying a vulnerable population

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Polygamy is fucked up

Polyamory is cool

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That’s the difference between polygamy and polyamory

[–] meekah -1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You have to be a special kind of stupid to actually believe that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I always knew I was special.

Polyamory tends to be very focused on consent and the ethics involved. Polygamy tends to be pushed by religion to ensure an unequal power distribution.

What do you have an issue with?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Well, even then, the differences between a paradigm of romance, and a state-supported power-structure... Are not just 'consent', now, are they?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Your implicit separation of religion from concepts like ethics and consent

[–] JustZ 1 points 8 months ago

Can any religious practice ever be done with consent?

Isn't it always under duress when an eternity of damnation and unending torment is at stake?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Sorry, holdover from catholic school. I should have specified: oppressive social movements couched in religion.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Cheaters tend to be controlling in their relationships. They crave that control, so they don't actually want to be single. They just want all of the power in the relationship.